(The subtle art of not giving a f*ck) <ol><li>Adversity and failure build strong-minded and successful adults.</li><li>Don’t be all talk actually do something.</li><li>Your self-worth is how you feel about negative aspects of yourself.</li><li>Our assumed inability to solve our problems makes us feel miserable and helpless.</li><li>Others do have the same problem as yours for sure, but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t hurt, it just means that you are not special.</li><li>Accept our life is boring most of the time.</li><li>Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new psychological problems.</li></ol>

You are not Special

6. The way we remember our experiences can differ slightly as time passes.7. The pursuit of certainty often breeds more insecurity.8. We always tend to avoid doing something that may question our pre-built identity.9. When we let go of the stories we tell about ourselves, to us, we free ourselves up to act (and fail) and grow.10. If it feels like it’s you vs the world, chances are it’s you vs you.

part-1 <ol><li>Be unflinchingly honest with yourself, especially the worst side of you.</li><li>All the positive and happy self-help stuff we hear all the time is actually fixating on what you lack.</li><li>No truly happy person feels the need to stand in front of a mirror and recite that she’s happy. She just is.</li><li>Now ‘hey-look-my-life-is-cooler-than-yours’ social media makes you feel like your life sucks more than you thought, unlike our grandpa’s days.</li><li>The key to a good life is not giving a f*ck about more; it’s giving a f*ck about less, giving a f*ck about only what is true and immediate and important now.</li></ol>

The subtle art of not giving f*ck Chapter 1: Don’t try

part-2<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Solutions to our stress and anxiety are right there in front of our noses, but we are just too busy to see them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Wanting a positive experience is a negative experience already; accepting a negative experience is a positive experience itself.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Everything worthwhile comes after we face a negative experience.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Choose what matters to you and what doesn’t based on your personal values.</li></ol>﻿Philosopher Albert Camus, “You will never live if you continue to search for happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

Don’t try

(The subtle art of not giving a f*ck) <ol><li class="ql-align-justify">When you stand for something you persist longer.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Based on our values we decide what’s success and failure to us.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Pleasure is a false God.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">You cannot always be right.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Even if you want to stay positive, sometimes life sucks, and the healthiest way to deal is to admit it.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If you compare your success with others, you will never be happy.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Self-improvement is about prioritizing better values.</li></ol>Good values — Honestly, self-respect, curiosity, etc.Bad values — Dominance through violence, always being the center of attention, feeling good all the time, etc.﻿

The Value of Suffering

(The subtle art of not giving a f*ck)<ol><li>If you are unwilling to fail, you are unwilling to succeed.</li><li>Set your values and metrics that depend on your own actions not on others’ behavior.</li><li>Don’t just sit there. Do something. The answer will follow you.</li><li>Pain is part of the process.</li><li>Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.</li></ol>

Failure is the Way Forward

"The unhealthy relationship has two people. One is the victim and another is the savior. One keeps on creating problems and another keeps on solving those problems because that's their way to get attention and love."﻿

(The subtle art of not giving a f*ck) <ol><li>Growth is an endlessly iterative process.</li><li>Learning is not going from ‘Wrong’ to ‘right’ straight, rather, it’s going from ‘wrong’ to ‘slightly less wrong’.</li><li>There is no perfect ideology, only experience is there that has shown what’s right for you.</li><li>The definition of being correct will change and evolve cause we change and evolve.</li><li>Stop assuming that you know how the story will end, and try it out.</li></ol>

You’re Wrong About Everything (But So Am I)

(The subtle art of not giving a f*ck) <ol><li>Absolute freedom, by itself, means nothing.</li><li>Rejection makes your life better.</li><li>An unhealthy romantic relationship is like cocaine. (Two people trying to escape their problems through their emotions for each other)</li><li>Healthy relationships have boundaries and trust.</li><li>Honesty is more important than feeling good all the time.</li></ol>

The Importance of Saying No

part-3<ol><li>Not giving a f*ck doesn’t mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable being different.</li><li>You can’t be an important and life-changing presence for some people without being a joke and an embarrassment to others.</li><li>When you are overthinking about trivial matters that means you don’t have anything legitimate to worry about.</li><li>Whether you realize it or not you are always choosing what to give a f*ck about.</li></ol>

Don't Try

(The subtle art of not giving a f*ck) <ol><li>You are the one responsible for interpreting the meaning of the event and choosing a response.</li><li>Accepting responsibility is the first towards the solution.</li><li>Care about something more important and worthy of your energies.</li><li>The new normal can be uncomfortable.</li><li>You always have better choices.</li></ol>“With great responsibility comes great power.”

You Are Always Choosing

<ul><li>What if I am wrong?</li><li>What would it mean if I were wrong?</li><li>Would being wrong create better or worse problems than my current problems, for both myself and others?</li></ul>

﻿Questions to ask yourself:

(The subtle art of not giving a f*ck) <ol><li>Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature.</li><li>We all need a ‘Disappointment Panda’ who would tell us the harsh truth that we need to hear but don’t want to accept.</li><li>Suffering inspires change.</li><li>Happiness comes from solving problems.</li><li>Denial and victim mentality lead to suffering.</li><li>Over-investment in emotion fails us because emotions never last.</li><li>You can’t win if you don’t play.</li><li>Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.</li><li>Problems won’t end rather get better or upgraded.</li></ol>

Happiness is a problem

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

books

Books

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

You Are Always Choosing

Similar ideas to You Are Always Choosing

You Are Always Choosing

Practice