In life and in love, we are going through four stages, which Jay Shetty describes as Aschrams:<ol><li>Preparing for love (Brahmacharya): In this Aschram, you will discover the power of solitude and learn to love yourself. It includes rule n° 1 and 2.</li><li>Practicing love (Grhastha): This Aschram is about learning to love other people. It includes rule n° 3 to 5.</li><li>Protecting love (Vanaprastha): Here you will learn how to deal with conflicts and how to heal. It includes rule n° 6 and 7.</li><li>Perfecting love (Sannyasa): Finally, you will learn how to love the entire world. It includes rule n° 8.</li></ol>

4 Stages Of Love And Life

We often end up or stay in relationships that aren't good for us just because we are scared of being on our own. We think that being alone isolates us from love, when in reality it connects us to love. By being alone on purpose, you will discover your strenghts and develop self-esteem. You will get to know yourself, your values and you will learn to love yourself without anyone's approval. This is the key to building a beautiful relationship and experiencing love.

Rule 1: Be Alone

We are constantly surrounded by things that influence us or that shape us into the person who we are: Our parents, the media, society or our first love. Under these infuences, we develop certain habits and behaviours, which can determine our destiny. It is important to recognise how you behave towards others and why you do so, as it can lead to either good or bad consequences, which is considered as Karma. Are you always attracted to the same kind of people? Why? Where is this coming from? What does this say about you?

Rule 2: Deal With Your Karma

Love can mean different things to different people. Define what you consider as love and what it means to you.Jay Shetty says that you love someone when you like their personality, respect their values and want to help them reach their goals.

Rule 3: Define Love Before You Experience It

A Guru is a teacher that inspires and supports you without controlling you. Look at your partner as if they were your Guru as you can learn a lot from them - you are their student. At the same time, you are your partner's Guru, while they are your student. You are both on the same level. Learn from each other, be curious, be humble, accept and respect each others choices, help each other and grow together.

Rule 4: Your Partner Is Your Guru

Your Dharma is your purpose in life, it is what you are passionate about and what you are good at. Live in accordance to your Dharma and help your partner with discovering and living their Dharma, as it will help you feel fulfilled.For more on Dharma, check out my summary of Jay Shetty's first book <a href="https://dsta.sh/1HAFwKdi1d2iRnfg6">"Think Like A Monk"</a>.

Rule 5: Your Dharma Sets The Tone

It is normal to argue in relationships. It is not you against them but you two against the problem. As soon as one of you loses, you both lose.Here are a few ideas on how you can deal with your problems: Find out the root cause of why you are fighting. Be respectful and try to understand each other's perspective. Let go of your ego and try to find the right words. Discuss the problem once you are both ready.

Rule 6: Win Or Lose Together

After your relationship, you are still worthy of love and a complete human being. There is no right way to break up as it is always hard and painful. But often, this is better than staying with the wrong person for the wrong reasons. Find out whether the relationship is worth fighting for or whether it is best to break up because repairing a broken relationship is very hard and time-consuming. Learn the lessons it taught you and move on.You can improve your relationship with new experiences, by learning from each other or through experiencing entertainment together.

Rule 7: The End Of The Relationship Is Not Your End

Expand your love. Love the people closest to you, love your colleagues, love strangers, love the earth. You can also love toxic people from a distance. Donate to an organisation or help them. Be an inspiration for others.Give love and serve others without expecting anything in return. This is the true and ultimate form of love and it is hard to reach.

Rule 8: Love Again And Again

Meditation:<ol><li>Meditate on how your body feels and thank it.</li><li>Meditate on/with your partner and appreciate them for who and what they are.</li><li>Meditate on how lovable you are by telling yourself positive affirmations.</li><li>Meditate on expanding the love in your heart outwards.</li></ol>Love letters:<ol><li>Write a love letter to yourself.</li><li>Write a love letter to your partner.</li><li>Write an encouraging letter to yourself after a break up and cheer yourself up.</li><li>Write a letter to the world in which you love the earth and every other person on this planet.</li></ol>

Exercises For The Four Stages

In this book, former monk Jay Shetty shares how to find, keep and let go of love. An amazing book on healthy love with insights that can be applied to any type of relationship and in any stage. I recommend reading the entire book.

The author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk offers a revelatory guide to every stage of romance, drawing on ancient wisdom and new science. Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love. So we’re often thrown into relationships with nothing but romance movies and pop culture to help us muddle through. Until now. Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners. By living Jay Shetty’s eight rules, we can all love ourselves, our partner, and the world better than we ever thought possible.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Jay Shetty is a storyteller, podcaster, and former monk. Shetty’s vision is to Make Wisdom Go Viral. He is on a mission to share the timeless wisdom of the world in an accessible, relevant, and practical way. Shetty has created over 400 viral videos with over 5 billion views, and hosts the #1 Health and Wellness podcast in the world, On Purpose. Learn more at JayShetty.me.

Jay Shetty

8 Rules of Love

I’m not motivated. It’s discipline. Understand the difference and it will cut some of your excuses out. Motivation is not an excuse when you don’t need it to do anything.

Where (or When) motivation fails, discipline prevails.

5,471 likes, 68 comments - danalinnbailey on February 5, 2023: "I’m not motivated. It’s discipline. Understand the difference and it will cut some of your ex..."

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

habits

Habits

exerciseandfitness

Exercise & Fitness

Motivation And Discipline

In every 'follower' I find a friend. In every 'like' a smile. Thank you for being part of this incredible journey to 9k! 🙌💖

This quote celebrates the joy of connecting with 9,000 amazing Adventurers on Deepstash. Each follower represents not just a number, but a genuine friend, and each like is a small, shared moment of happiness. Thanks for your support 🙏

🚀 Celebrating 9k Followers on Deepstash!

productivity

Productivity

9,000 Hearts Strong 🎉

Train for yourself.Don't train to lose weight. Don't train for a 6 pack. Don't train for a big booty. Don't train for a pumped chest.Train to play with your kids when you're older. Train to pick up your groceries comfortably. Train to walk up the stairs by yourself. Train for good posture. Train to prevent injuries. Train to manage your anxiety. Train to walk without a cane when you're older. Train to sit and stand up without anyone's help. Train to be independent for as long as possible.Train for the bigger picture. The real goal.And if you do, aesthetics will follow.

Train for the bigger picture. The real goal. 

Train for yourself.
.
Don&#39;t train to lose weight!
Don&#39;t train for a 6 pack!
Don&#39;t train for a big booty!
Don&#39;t train for a pumped chest!
Train to play with…

food

Food

Mohamed Safwat on Training: Train For Yourself

Can I tell you something beautiful a guy in a mosque once told me?I was complaining to him about people being bad. I was saying: “I don’t understand: Why are people bad? How do people sleep at night? Why do they do this, why do they do that? I’ve been screwed over by people all the time and I’m the good person.”And he said: “No, no, no. Why do you look at things like that? Think of it in this way: We are all vessels. If people took the love from you, if they took the time from you, let them keep it; they needed it. You were part of their prayer: God answered their prayer through you.”

And that resonated so much in me, that every time someone does me wrong now, yes, I’m human, I get hurt, but the pain is not what it used to be, because I’m like: “You know what? I’m sure God answered their prayer through me.”And then I look up at God and I say: “God, you have such an amazing sense of humour!”

“We are all vessels. If people took the love from you, if they took the time from you, let them keep it; they needed it. You were part of their prayer: God answered their prayer through you.”

Good has an amazing sense of humour. #SaraAlMadani #relationshipproblems #lifeadvice #feelingdown

mindfulness

Mindfulness

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Sara Al Madani: Answered Prayers And Being Hurt

1. Focus on self-actualisation as an ACTION
Think actively about what may be fulfilling today. Not everything in my day will be fulfilling, but actively SEEK opportunities to do things you enjoy and are good at doing.
Ask yourself
What would i do if money wasn't an option?What activities do i lose myself in?
2. Seek fulfilment in different parts of my life, not just "my one passion"
Even quiet moments can be lovely, doing hobbies, volunteering or spending time with others. Most people have only ONE fulfilling thing in life.

Action and Passion

3. Build circle of positive influence
Ask yourself who do associate? Who brings me down?
Spend more time with people who are actively seeking fulfilment and trying to solve problems
4. Be Patient
Life is long, some weeks/months are dry or have zero results, but stick with it.

Build circle of positive influence and Be Patient

Get one of ONLY approx. 100 Menos backpacks left in stock, made from 15 recycled plastic bottles, with a 17-inch laptop sleeve and USB charging port - https://wearemenos.com or in the UK: https://amzn.to/40cZroT ✨

Daily life often feels pretty dull - coffee, commute, work, dinner, bed - then the weekend... Aaaand REPEAT. 

I think since starting a job, it's hit me pretty hard that my current routine is basically the next 30 years of my life, potentially. And I've HAD to stop seeing fulfilment as a destination I'll reach once I've accomplished professional goals, and instead to start finding FULFILMENT IN EVERYDAY LIFE 🙌

So, I've been looking for ways to find fulfilment in the small things - that has meant building up powerful habits to change my mindset in a few key areas. And those habits are meaning I feel more happy and fulfilled with everyday life 😀

………………………………………………….

Menos - Minimalist, sustainable design (by Liam & Beth)

Get one of ONLY approx. 100 Menos backpacks left in stock, made from 15 recycled plastic bottles, with a 17-inch laptop sleeve and USB charging port - https://wearemenos.com or in the UK: https://amzn.to/40cZroT ✨

Beth and I have created Menos to bring minimalist, sustainable design to help us all boss the everyday. 

Follow Menos (@wearemenos on Instagram) - https://instagram.com/wearemenos 

………………………………………………….

My Free Trello Masterclass

'More Focus, Less Stress - Build Your Ultimate Productivity System in Trello' is my FREE course (Trello is also FREE), which you can take by signing up for a free 2-week SkillShare trial: https://skl.sh/3h2XpV1

... The course walks you through how to build your customised version of my insanely powerful (but simple) Trello productivity system (aka the app that keeps me focused for 10 hours per day!) 📱

………………………………………………….

About Me

I'm a trainee lawyer, part-time YouTuber, son, brother, startup founder, boyfriend, black coffee drinker and plant dad. I graduated from Cambridge University (where I studied French and Spanish), topped my law school class and now work for a corporate law firm in London as a trainee solicitor (which takes up a lot of my time)!

Around that, I'm a big fan of discovering new ways of thinking, of balancing work with life, and of performing to the very best of my ability. Ohh, and being happy. And I try to share all that on this YouTube channel 😀

Fun fact: I believe we massively overplay the role of “natural talent” 😮 AND… I also believe that TOGETHER, WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF POSITIVITY, PRODUCTIVITY AND SUCCESS.

📸  Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/liam.porritt/
🌍  My little kingdom – https://liamporritt.com

I'm Liam, a Cambridge University graduate and corporate lawyer, living in London. I share productivity tips, career advice and lifestyle hacks, so we can become happier and more successful versions of ourselves... together 🤗

Liam Porritt

Why Your Life Is So Boring - 4 Habits To Find Fulfilment

4 Habits To Find Fulfilment

Embrace curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. Ask questions about the world around you and seek answers through research, reading, and exploration. Curiosity is the foundation of intellectual growth.

1. Having a Curious Engaged Mind

I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.

Reading is one of the most effective ways to expand your intellectual horizons. Explore a diverse range of books, articles, and academic papers. Don't limit yourself to one genre or subject; broaden your interests. This can be for any subject as well!

2. Read MORE

Practice critical thinking by analyzing information and ideas from multiple perspectives. Evaluate arguments, evidence, and sources critically. This will help you make informed decisions and solve complex problems.

3. Critical Thinking Daily!

Make learning a lifelong habit. Attend lectures, workshops, and online courses. Stay up-to-date with developments in your field of interest, and be open to learning from experts and peers. This will also help mentally keep you sharp and healthy

4. Pursue Infinite Knowledge 

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world."

Engage in meaningful conversations with others. Share your thoughts and listen to theirs. Discussing ideas and debating different viewpoints can sharpen your intellectual skills and broaden your understanding.

5. Engage More In Conversation 

Put what you learn into practice. Apply your knowledge to real-world situations. Solve problems, create, and innovate. Active application reinforces your understanding and helps you retain information. You got this!

6. Application Of Gathered Knowledge!

Remember that becoming more intellectually intelligent is a continuous process. Stay committed, be patient with yourself, and enjoying the journey of expanding your intellectual horizons. Also remember you are human, so don't go to hard on yourself!

Reminder: Mental Health Is Overall Important 

health

Health

The Steps to Being Intelligent

You feel emotions intensely, so when you feel joy you are on top of the world.

👍 Intense Joy

This means you also feel painful emotions deeply and can feel overwhelmed by them.

👎 Deep Emotions

Your creativity thrives in a slower paced environment.

👍 Slow-Paced Creativity

When too much is going on around you it can be overwhelming and stressful.

👎 Overwhelm & Stress

Empathy is your strength and you feel deeply affected by the mood and emotions of people around you.

👍 Empathy

Seeing violence on TV can cause you intense distress and you tend to avoid it.

👎 TV Violence Distress

Understand the unique emotional landscape of HSPs as they journey through life's ups and downs.

The UPS and DOWNS of being a HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON

Friendships are an essential part of our lives, providing us with companionship, support, and a sense of belonging. While many friendships require effort and mutual obligations, there are some unique relationships that don't demand anything from us. These friendships, often referred to as unconditional friendships, can be incredibly valuable and fulfilling. Here are some key points to consider about friendships that don't demand anything from us:

Unconditional friendships are built on a genuine connection between individuals. They are based on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. In these relationships, there is no need for pretense or putting on a facade; both parties can be their authentic selves.

1. Genuine Connection

Unlike other friendships where expectations may arise, unconditional friendships are free from any demands or obligations. There is no pressure to constantly be available or to fulfill specific roles. Both friends understand that they can rely on each other without any strings attached.

2. No Expectations

In friendships that don't demand anything from us, there is an understanding that both individuals accept each other as they are, flaws and all. These friends provide a safe space where you can share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or criticism.

3. Non Judgmental Support

Unconditional friendships contribute significantly to our emotional well-being. They provide a source of comfort during challenging times and a platform to celebrate our successes. Knowing that we have someone who genuinely cares about us and is always there for us creates a sense of security and happiness.

4 Emotional Well-being

In friendships that don't demand anything from us, there is room for personal growth and individual pursuits. Both friends understand that personal development is essential and support each other's aspirations without feeling threatened or left behind.

5. Freedom To Grow

Unconditional friendships are built on a foundation of mutual respect. Both individuals value and appreciate each other's boundaries, opinions, and choices. There is no pressure to conform or change for the sake of the friendship.

6. Mutual Respect

These friendships are characterized by their transparency and authenticity. There are no hidden agendas or ulterior motives. Both friends genuinely care for each other's well-being and happiness, without expecting anything in return.

7. No Hidden Agenda

Friendships that don't demand anything from us have the potential to last a lifetime. The absence of expectations and demands allows the relationship to evolve naturally and withstand the test of time.

8. Long Lasting Bonds

Although these friendships don't demand anything from us, they still involve reciprocal support. While there may not be specific obligations, both friends are there for each other when needed, providing emotional support, advice, and a listening ear.

9. Reciprocal Support

Ultimately, friendships that don't demand anything from us are rooted in unconditional love. They are based on a deep affection and care for each other, regardless of circumstances or personal gain.

10. So Much Love

friendships that don't demand anything from us are unique and valuable relationships that contribute to our overall well-being. They provide a safe space, genuine connection, and unconditional support without any expectations or obligations. Cultivating and nurturing such friendships can bring immense joy and fulfillment to our lives.

Unconditional Friendships

"Love isn't something you find, love will itself find you"

We never feel that anyone in this world is better than the one we love.The world seems beautiful, everything seems good and complete, it has happened to everyone and will continue to happen, I myself have been a part of it.

A Beautiful Feeling.

Honestly, It is a very sweet journey to reach oneself.

But what about that love which sometimes causes pain and sufferings? It does not matter whether it is knowingly or unknowingly, but it is a fact that addiction, pain, separation, and some struggles also emerge in love.

What If It Comes With Pain

Recovering from a relationship that caused pain, separation, and struggles can be an incredibly difficult process. The journey to healing and rebuilding oneself requires time, self-reflection, and a commitment to personal growth. However, with the right mindset and support, it is possible to recover and build yourself again, even from the love that once caused so much turmoil.

Recovering From The Love That Caused Pain.

The first step in recovering from a painful relationship is acknowledging and accepting the pain. It is essential to allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise from the breakup or the struggles you faced in the relationship. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss and process the hurt. This may involve seeking therapy or counselling to help navigate through the emotions and gain a deeper understanding of what went wrong.

Acknowledgement.

Self-reflection is a crucial aspect of rebuilding oneself after a challenging relationship. Take time to reflect on your own role in the dynamics of the relationship. Consider the patterns that may have contributed to the pain and struggles. This self-awareness allows you to identify areas for personal growth and change. It also helps you break free from repeating the same mistakes.

Understanding Where It Went Wrong.

During this recovery period, it is essential to focus on self-care and self-love. Engage in activities that bring you joy and promote your well-being. This may include practicing mindfulness, engaging in hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or seeking professional help if needed. Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally is crucial in rebuilding your sense of self-worth and confidence.

Self Care And Self Love.

Building a support network is another vital component of recovering from a painful relationship. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Seek out friends, family members, or support groups who understand what you have been through and can provide empathy and guidance. Having a strong support system can help you through the challenging moments and remind you that you are not alone.

Share What You Feel.

As you work on rebuilding yourself, it is important to set boundaries and establish healthy relationship dynamics. Learn to recognize and prioritize your needs and desires. Communicate your boundaries clearly with others and ensure they are respected. This may involve saying no to situations or people that do not align with your values or contribute positively to your life. By setting boundaries, you protect yourself from repeating past patterns and create space for healthier relationships to flourish.

Setting Firm Boundaries.

Lastly, forgiveness is a crucial step in the recovery process. Forgiving yourself and your past partner allows you to let go of resentment and move forward with a clean slate. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the pain caused rather, it is a way to release the emotional burden that holds you back from fully healing. Forgiveness allows you to reclaim your power and focus on building a brighter future for yourself.

Forgiveness.

It is a transformative journey. Which requires self-reflection, self-care, support, setting boundaries, and forgiveness. Through this process, you can emerge stronger, wiser, and ready to face the world again.this time with a deeper understanding of yourself and what you truly deserve. Remember, healing takes time, so be patient with yourself and trust in your ability to rebuild and find happiness again.

Pain Makes Us Human.

It is said that a person either learns from books or from experiences, a person who learns from experiences does not lose mostly, that is why perhaps these words may be useful for someone. 

Loving Yourself In Love

Find  Self Improvement Tips - Curated from popular Books like Atomic Habits, 48 Rules of Power, Deep Work, Rich Dad Poor Dad and way more!