Humans have a special talent for complicating simplicity. We make a spectacle out of simple.

Energy management beats time management.

Your memories of perfect moments are memories of moments in which you were most present.

When you ruminate, you mistake replay for reflection. When you catastrophize, you mistake worrying for preparation.

You don’t heal by changing who you are; you heal by learning how to be yourself in the world.

It was never the terrible things that happened to you that made you stronger; it was the resiliency-building skills you engaged to process the terrible things. What doesn’t kill you can make you stronger, but only if you feel your feelings, process your experience (i.e., figure out what the experience means to you), and engage the protective factors around you—mainly, the power of connection.

Sometimes you say a thought out loud to give it weight because it matters. Sometimes you say a thought out loud to let it go because it's trivial. Until you let the words hit the air, it can be difficult to tell which is which.

You can perfectly paint by numbers without making a single mistake, but you'll never create a masterpiece that way.

For perfectionists struggling with emotional perfectionism, everything is timed and measured. They attempt to control their feelings like a volume knob, and not just the "bad" ones.

It’s not mere talent that rises to the top, it’s persistence.

Enthusiasm itself will not be enough to sustain an endeavor.

Exploration doesn’t need to culminate in bullet-pointed certainty about anything. Thoughts and feelings don’t need to operate with an itinerary. It’s okay to hold something for a long time, look at it, turn it over, feel it, think about it, turn it over again, talk about it, write about it, and then look up and say, “I don’t know.” It’s okay to not have closure.

You will never experience the future; you’re always and only in the present moment. If you’re waiting on the future to feel joy, you will never feel joy.

A lot of perfectionists think they're driven by success when what they're really driven by is the avoidance of failure-two very different animals.

<ul><li>Intense perfectionists: laser-focused on a goal and will do whatever it takes to get there.</li><li>Classic perfectionists: highly reliable, consistent, detail-oriented, but they can struggle with meaningful connections.</li><li>Parisian perfectionists: strongly driven by connection with others and can have people-pleasing tendencies.</li><li>Procrastinator perfectionists: great at preparing and using impulse control but struggle with starting or finishing out of fear it won’t be perfect.</li><li>Messy perfectionists: they love starting with unbridled ideas and energy but struggle to maintain momentum when the excitement wanes.</li></ul>

Five types of perfectionists

From psychotherapist Katherine Morgan Schafler, an invitation to every “recovering perfectionist” to challenge the way they look at perfectionism, and the way they look at themselves. We’ve been looking at perfectionism all wrong. As psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google Katherine Morgan Schafler argues in The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control, you don’t have to stop being a perfectionist to be healthy. For women who are sick of being given the generic advice to “find balance,” a new approach has arrived. Which of the five types of perfectionist are you? Classic, intense, Parisian, messy, or procrastinator? As you identify your unique perfectionist profile, you'll learn how to manage each form of perfectionism to work for you, not against you. Beyond managing it, you'll learn how to embrace and even enjoy your perfectionism. Yes, enjoy! Full of stories and brimming with humor, empathy, and depth, this book is a love letter to the ambitious, high achieving, full-of-life clients who filled the author’s private practice, and who changed her life. It’s a clarion call for all women to dare to want more without feeling greedy or ungrateful. Ultimately, this book will show you how to make the single greatest trade you’ll ever make in your life, which is to exchange superficial control for real power.

productivity

Productivity

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mindfulness

Mindfulness

mentalhealth

Mental Health

books

Books

Katherine Morgan Schafler

The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

The understanding of divine wisdom and mercy as it relates to the concealment of the future has practical implications for daily living. It encourages individuals to adopt a balanced approach to life, where they plan and strive for their goals while remaining flexible and adaptable to unforeseen changes.

This perspective promotes resilience, enabling individuals to recover from setbacks and view challenges as opportunities for growth. It also fosters a sense of gratitude, as people learn to appreciate the present moment and the blessings they currently enjoy, without being overshadowed by the fear of future losses.

The uncertainty surrounding death and other adverse events is not merely an act of mercy but also a profound expression of divine wisdom. This uncertainty compels humans to cultivate virtues such as patience, resilience, and faith. It encourages them to develop a deeper reliance on the divine and to seek solace in the spiritual rather than the temporal.

In the face of uncertainty, faith becomes a vital anchor. The belief in a wise and merciful divine being who orchestrates the universe with perfect knowledge and compassion provides a profound sense of security and peace. Trusting in the divine plan, even when the future is obscure, allows individuals to navigate life’s challenges with courage and hope.

This trust is not a passive resignation but an active engagement with life’s trials and tribulations. It involves striving to do one’s best in every situation, with the confidence that the divine wisdom will ensure the best possible outcome. It transforms the fear of the unknown into an opportunity for spiritual growth and self-discovery.

By embracing the uncertainty of the future and trusting in the divine plan, individuals can navigate life’s challenges with courage and hope. They can live more fully in the present, appreciating the moments of joy and tranquility without being overshadowed by the fear of the unknown. In this way, the veil of the unseen becomes not a barrier but a blessing, guiding humanity toward a more meaningful and purposeful existence.

Read full article: https://medium.com/@gsenes/embracing-the-hidden-how-divine-wisdom-and-mercy-shape-our-lives-b19adf99ca70

The concept of divine wisdom and mercy often intrigues and perplexes those who ponder the mysteries of life and existence. This contemplation is deeply rooted in the theological traditions that have…

philosophy

Philosophy

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Travel

Embracing the Hidden: How Divine Wisdom and Mercy Shape Our Lives

Emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.

What Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ

As we know, it’s not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it’s your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another.

The Importance Of Emotional Intelligence

<ol><li>Self-management . You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.</li><li>Self-awareness . You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.</li></ol>

The 4 Key Skills To Emotional Intelligence

3. Social awareness . You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.4. Relationship management . You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

It’s important that you learn how to manage stress first, so you’ll feel more comfortable reconnecting to strong or unpleasant emotions and changing how you experience and respond to your feelings. You can develop your emotional awareness by using HelpGuide’s free <a href="https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-toolkit.htm">Emotional Intelligence Toolkit </a>.

Developing Emotional Awareness

Using these 4 key skills, you can improve your emotional intelligence and increase your success at work, school, and in your relationships.

meditation

Meditation

Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Expert Guide

understand the technique of a manipulator <ol><li>Pay attention to their words and actions</li><li>Recognise the signs of manipulation</li><li>Be aware of body language</li><li>Be confident</li><li>Ask clarifying questions </li><li>Focus on facts </li><li>Keep your cool.</li></ol>

First Of All

Identify the situations or words that most often make you defensive and reactive. A manipulator will use this information against you. If you can think about what triggers you the most, you can preemptively learn not to be so affected by them. When they try to use it during a heated conversation, those words will not give up their power so easily.

1. Know Your Trigger

Take time to practice controlling your emotions when presented with difficult situations. This may include delaying your response or allowing someone to run their mouth a bit, even if what they say is untrue and unkind. Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean you don’t respond; it just means you control when and how you respond.

2. Practice Self-control

Be familiar with what steps you can take if things become too much. An exit plan could mean asking for a break or leaving the house so you can get some space. Often, it can feel scary to use your exit plan for fear of what they will say. Remember, you get to choose how people talk to you, and you can leave if they don’t respect your boundaries.

3. Have An Exit Plan

No matter how they attempt to manipulate you, you can still assert your right to respect, boundaries, and space. Your value, lovability, and importance are inherent. You may feel quite the opposite if you have been belittled for a long time. Know that what they say is simply false.

4. Remind Yourself Of Your Value

Take time to <a href="https://www.makinwellness.com/deep-breathing-benefits/">breathe deeply </a>after being triggered, which can help you to remember how you want to respond instead of responding emotionally to their attacks. It also takes up space in the conversation, which shows them that you are essential and don’t feel rushed or pressured to respond immediately.

5. Take A Deep Breath

Come up with some common phrases or sentences you can regularly use to deflect manipulative tactics. For example, if they belittle or talk down to you, try saying something like, “I hear what you’re saying. However, I feel differently about this and would appreciate your respecting my opinion.”

Write A Script For Yourself

Are you constantly gaslit, guilted, and in fear of what your partner will say to you? If so, you may be experiencing the tactics of a manipulator.

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Corporate Culture

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Love & Relationships

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Teamwork

How To Outsmart A Manipulator: 6 Steps To Recover Your Power And Prevent Abuse - Makin Wellness

Self-acceptance refers to acknowledging and embracing all aspects of oneself, including strengths, weaknesses, successes, and failures. It involves a realistic appraisal of who you are and a willingness to embrace your true self without undue criticism or self-judgment

Pros1. Improved Mental Health2. Authenticity and Integrity3. Personal Growth4. Better Decision Making5. Improved Physical Health_________________________________ Cons 1. Complacency Risk2. Social Misunderstanding3. Balancing Acceptance and Ambition4. Difficulty in Initiating Change

Pros&Cons of Self-Acceptance:

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

parenting

Parenting

Self-acceptance 

You're not a procrastinator. You have a habit of procrastinating. Big difference.

One might think that procrastination is about the thing or task which one is procrastinating around, mostly at work. Mel Robbins postulates that, in fact, procrastination has nothing to do with work.

Misconception about procrastination

Apart from work, we tend to have a lot of things going in our lives, like fights with our significant others, ill family members, financial concerns and so on. Whatever problems we have, we carry them with us all the time, no matter where we are or what we do. Now, imagine going to work with this big stress ball subconsciously hanging over your head, knowing you have many tasks ahead of you, easy ones as well as those that make you uncomfortable like phone calls with some higher ups. For a while you keep yourself busy with easy work, but sooner or later you need to make those calls.

The root cause of procrastination: Stress

That is the moment your brain kicks in like "Wait a minute, you want me to make a call to somebody whom I'm afraid of? Absolutely not! Let's just watch some cat videos for a minute, will we?" And next thing you know, one hour has passed. The moment you realize it, you tend to beat yourself up, only making things worse by adding even more stress.

Procrastination is a form of (instant) stress relief

The good news: This behavior is learned, meaning it is a habit and not a bad personality trait. Habits can be broken with a science based approach.To break this habit of procrastinating (e. g. seeking short dopamine kicks to avoid negative emotions), one first needs to know the structure of habits, which consist of three elements: <ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Trigger: In case of procrastination the trigger is always stress, according to Mel Robbins.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Repeated behavioral pattern (e. g. habit): Here, it is the procrastination itself, meaning avoiding something.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reward: The reward of procrastination is a little stress relief.</li></ol>

Breaking out of the procrastination cycle: Understanding the structure of habits

To break a bad habit, you must change at least one of the three components. In case of procrastination, this can only be the behavior pattern itself, as the trigger – stress – will always be present. So, the next time you catch yourself checking your phone or busying yourself with insignificant tasks instead of doing what matters, do the following steps: Acknowledge the stress, redirect your attention and interrupt the procrastination habit.

Breaking out of the procrastination cycle: Three-steps-plan to beat procrastination

Stop what you are doing and say to yourself "Oh, I must be stressed about something." Recognizing your emotional state is the initial step towards altering your behavior.

1. Acknowledge the stress

Now, count 5-4-3-2-1 to wake up your prefrontal cortex (e. g. breaking the autopilot). A habit is something we do in autopilot mode, letting our subconsciousness lead the way. Counting backwards reactivates our conscious mind and interrupts the pattern.

2. Redirect your attention

Focus on one task and work on it for just five minutes. The reason why you should work for only five minutes is to remind yourself that work is not the problem but the habit of avoiding. You just need to start to disrupt the avoidance pattern. Another positive effect: Based on research, 80 % of people who manage to start working for only five minutes are going to continue their work.

3. Interrupt the procrastination habit

This short video delves into the idea that procrastination is more of a behavior pattern than a inherent aspect of a person's character, indicating that it can be addressed using a method rooted in scientific understanding.

Ready to unlock your potential? 🚀 https://bit.ly/2024makeithappen 👈 Sign up for my FREE 2-part training, Make It Happen with Mel Robbins. It’s designed to show you exactly HOW you can go from dreaming to doing!
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If you keep finding yourself stuck in that loop of stress and avoiding the things you know you need to do, WATCH THIS. 

I give you my tools for dealing with procrastination… I know they’ll work for you too.

If you struggle with procrastination, you're not alone. Research from a PhD at the University of Calgary found that 80–95% of college students are procrastinators. 

There's also nothing wrong with you. You don't lack willpower, drive, and focus. It also has nothing to do with your work and your ability to get it done. 

If you beat yourself up for procrastinating, that ends now. And here's why:

You're looking at procrastination wrong. Rather than a trait or sign of motivation, it's simply a habit.

A habit that comes about in response to life stress.

In this video, learn the only way you can break the habit of procrastination–for good. This simple 4-step strategy will help you stop procrastinating and in the process make you happier and less stressed.

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Catch full episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast here on YouTube https://bit.ly/tmrp_playlist 📺

Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast while you're on-the-go! https://link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=listennow 🎧 Available wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. New episodes drop every Monday (to start your week) and Thursday (to get you through it).
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Time Management

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Videos

NY Times Best Selling Author + Award Winning Podcast Host with 5x #1 best selling audiobooks on Audible.

Mel Robbins

The ONLY Way To Stop Procrastinating | Mel Robbins

When born into a world we are decided on how we’re going to live by the environment we grow in. Let’s say that your family is a part of a big company and making big profit that even those kids will grow up and will not want to get a job because of their family business. Easygoing life’s lead to weak performance which can lead to hardship later on in life.

Born Into A World Of Luxury.

Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.

When born into a poor household it can have a significant effect on your standpoint of living. When you’re born into a family with no stability it can heavily influence your decision making process and money interests. Coming from a place where you are only allowed to have a limited supply of supplies and needs it will teach you to make better choices for yourself and others .

Hardened Life

Be mindful that not everyone is the same and everyone has had their different experiences and journeys. When thinking about something someone has said just think about why they might have that opinion instead of trying to think they are ignorant or stupid just think to yourself “why might this person think this way, “what might have happened to this person for them to think this way”?

Mindfulness Of People.

"An unchecked ego is the single greatest enemy of growth. A properly tamed ego is the greatest enabler of success".

This book takes a different approach on how humans evolve around the world around us and how we adapt to it with a philosophical standpoint.

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

How environments impact our lives. 

I want to thank you MumFor all you ever did. Growing up you were my safe spaceFrom you I never hidI want to thank you DadFor starting my love of SpaceBecause of you my love grewI had a mindblowing interest to embrace.I want to thank you bothFor showing me what love really is.Your commitment to each otherand all the love you have to give.Having your relationship to aspire tothe love, the life you forged over timeYou'd never waiver from your personIt's what I greatly admire.So thank you Mum and thank you DadFor giving me these giftsI hope you both are restfulKnowing I'm blessed because of this

Thank You

writing

Reading & Writing

communication

Communication

Poetry Prompts - Today's prompt is 'Thank You'

There is a big vacuum inside of us, so we look for things outside us to fill up the vacuum. We think that new and exciting things will work, but they don't seem to have an effect.

Look inside you!

“You can see scary people a mile away. It's the good people you have to worry about.”

“The surest way to tame a prisoner is to let him believe he’s free.”

“You should never tell a psychopath they are a psychopath. It upsets them.”

“If you want a hug, go to Hell and find your mother.”

“If I come for you, and I still might yet decide to come for you, I will wear high heels so you can hear my approach on the cobblestones and have time to repent. You listen for my footsteps.”

“Never take a learning opportunity away from another student. No matter how smart you need everyone to think you are.”

“Men don't have the strategic intelligence to conduct a war between families. Men are less good at keeping secrets out of their lies.”

“Whatever you say to the police can and will be misconstrued to support the prosecution. So, when in doubt, shut your mouth.”

“You love the sound of your own voice, don’t you? You’re like a radio presenter.”

“I've had lots of time to think about how good I was at seeming Good.”

“It’s strange how some choices mean nothing, and others govern the rest of your life.”

“The mind is a funny thing, it can make heaven from hell, hell from heaven. The world around it isn't evil, it's just indifferent.”

“Most women don't know what they like until they've tried it. And sadly, so many of us get to try so little before we're old and grey.”

“The more people you love, the weaker you are. You’ll do things for them that you know you shouldn’t do. You’ll act the fool to make them happy, to keep them safe...Love no one but your children; on that front a mother has no choice.”

“It’s important to be organized and ruthless. Three piles, I always say. The stuff you wanna keep, the stuff you might need later that you put in storage, and the stuff you have to destroy.”

Probably final post to this mini-series on TV Villans. So, enjoy reading and don't forget to stash this post! 

Women have always been seen as the damsel in distress on TV, but these great female villains certainly put that outdated trope to bed!

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Movies & Shows

entertainment

Entertainment

Impactful quotes from TV Villans (Female Edition) pt. 4 (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

Find 100+ Psychology Facts about Human Behaviour, Mind or Nature - Curated from Videos, Podcasts, Books & Articles - Genuine Insights from Other People