Life is a series of commas, not periods.

The best advice comes from people who don't give advice.

There's a difference in thinking you are a champion and knowing that you are.

There's two sorts of fear: one you embrace and one you should listen to and turn the other way.

My life is the road, man. I need to keep moving.

We dissect failure a lot more than we dissect success.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

movies

Movies & Shows

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Matthew McConaughey Quotes

Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down.

Hygge has been called everything from “the art of creating intimacy,” “coziness of the soul,” and “the absence of annoyance,” to “taking pleasure from the presence of soothing things,” “cozy togetherness,” and my personal favorite, “cocoa by candlelight”.

Hygge is the pursuit of everyday happiness – it's about finding joy in the experience of each and every day. It's about finding an appreciation for the small things that add huge value to our lives.This appreciation manifests itself in Danish culture because hygge is also about togetherness and sharing. While you can experience hygge by yourself, the Danes put a lot of emphasis on spending time in intimate groups. The core ideas are around well-being, coziness, warmth, safety, intimacy, and gratitude.

Hygge: the pursuit of everyday happiness

<ul><li>Its earliest written roots go back to an old Norwegian word meaning “wellbeing” and date to the early 1800s. Other possible origins might be variants of the words “hug,” another old Norwegian term for “comfort” and another for “mood.”</li><li>While most modern interpretations have settled on “coziness” as an appropriate translation, this not quite gets the point either.</li><li>Hygge has been described in several ways: 'the art of being consciously cozy,' 'a hug without touching,' 'socializing for introverts,' 'cocoa by candlelight.' Anything annoying or invasive is the antithesis of "hygge."</li></ul>

The etymology of the word “hygge” 

You’ll need to make a conscious effort to create the right environment.Feeling at home requires a homey place, so unless you create one, you’ll have a hard time getting into the right mood. It’s why the Danish are obsessed with candles, lighting and lamp design, and natural elements like wood in interior design.Fun fact: At 6 kg or 13 lbs of candles burned per person per year, the Danes are Europe’s number one candlelight junkies. They also have almost 2 rooms per person in the living space.

Hygge is a lot about the atmosphere

<ul><li>Dimly, but sufficiently lit rooms.</li><li>Candles, scented or unscented.</li><li>Beautifully designed, sleek lamps.</li><li>Wide, open rooms and surfaces.</li><li>A fireplace or a stove.</li><li>Shelves, boards, and other interior design elements made of wood.</li><li>A hyggekrog – a cozy corner specifically designed to snuggle up, enjoy a hot beverage, and read or relax.</li></ul>

Some things that promote hygge at home 

<ul><li>Where people often misinterpret it, is that it's not about consumerism or commodification.</li><li>Hygge is all about a spirit of sharing, togetherness, and equality. Social media influencers, Pinterest users, and YouTubers have taken to hygge in a massive way, and it's lost a lot of its original ethos.</li><li>Hygge is for everyone, it's not a design scheme, and it shouldn't necessarily come with a hefty price tag.</li></ul>

Hygge isn't an aesthetic

When creating a cozy and welcoming experience, we need to consider the impact of both sounds and silence. Sound affects how we relate to the space around us, and it can be very distracting – particularly if it's a manufactured sound.Whether you choose to experience hygge alone, or with other people, it's crucial to practice mindfulness and "be in the here and now." Since hygge is about enjoying what's around us, living in the moment, and being free of distractions, it means that technology should be switched off and ignored.

Sound and silence

The Danish philosophy seems to be that if you genuinely enjoy eating something, then you can delight in cakes, cookies, cheese, coffee, and so on. The idea here is that life is about enjoying pleasures, and not feeling without or restricted.In many other cultures, mindful eating isn't practiced as often as it should be, and instant gratification results in consuming without enjoyment. The hygge philosophy is to celebrate indulgent treats, to share them, and experience them slowly. Savor the moment. And don't rush what you're putting into your body.

Embracing small and indulgent pleasures

In fact, they have a word called kaffe-hygge. By bringing together lighting, atmosphere, warmth, beverages, and delicious homemade treats, the simple act of meeting a friend for coffee can be intensely hygge-like.However, kaffe-hygge also brings together the idea of good quality and ethically sourced ingredients.

The Danish coffee shop is at the heart of hygge

<ul><li>Hygge embraces nostalgia and capturing those beautiful memories and moments.</li><li>However, hygge isn't just about the significant events like Christmas, birthdays, and so on. Hygge is about making the everyday something to celebrate. The Danish mentality is that exercising gratitude and being thankful is part of every meal. </li><li>Family dinner isn't just about sharing a meal with relatives – it's about acknowledging that family comes in many forms. We form kinship through storytelling and creating memories. Relationships are continually being built upon, so never take that family meal for granted.</li></ul>

Hygge isn't about large crowds; it's about intimacy

The difference between Denmark and the rest of Europe may be attributed to their time spent interacting with their communities because Danes leave work early whereas most Europeans stay at work until 5:30 p.m., leaving no time for after-work gatherings or family dinners due to long hours at the office. It isn’t surprising that hygge (the Danish way of creating intimacy) involves spending time with loved ones since touching others makes us feel warm and secure by releasing oxytocin into our bloodstreams, which causes bonding feelings between parents and children.

Spending time with loved ones

Ethics, equality, fairness, and organic are some of the other words you're likely to find in the hygge lexicon.The Danes pay high taxes, but you'll seldom hear them grumble about this. Despite the high taxation, Denmark is a very equitable country, and the taxes are used on free quality education, free healthcare, excellent infrastructure, an efficient transport system, and an abundance of cultural and recreational facilities.The mindset of the Danish population is that community is paramount. Whereas other countries adopt a singular, and "me" attitude, the Danes are all about the collective "<warningtag>we."</warningtag>

The sense of community 

Small things  you can do every day to quickly put yourself in a mood. 

food

Food

mentalhealth

Mental Health

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

Mood Boosters: Put Yourself in a Happy Mood 

Embrace Hygge (pronounced hoo-ga) and become happier with this definitive guide to the Danish philosophy of comfort, togetherness, and well-being. Why are Danes the happiest people in the world? The answer, says Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen, is Hygge. Loosely translated, Hygge—pronounced Hoo-ga—is a sense of comfort, togetherness, and well-being. "Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience," Wiking explains. "It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe." Hygge is the sensation you get when you’re cuddled up on a sofa, in cozy socks under a soft throw, during a storm. It’s that feeling when you’re sharing comfort food and easy conversation with loved ones at a candlelit table. It is the warmth of morning light shining just right on a crisp blue-sky day. The Little Book of Hygge introduces you to this cornerstone of Danish life, and offers advice and ideas on incorporating it into your own life, such as: Get comfy. Take a break. Be here now. Turn off the phones. Turn down the lights. Bring out the candles. Build relationships. Spend time with your tribe. Give yourself a break from the demands of healthy living. Cake is most definitely Hygge. Live life today, like there is no coffee tomorrow. From picking the right lighting to organizing a Hygge get-together to dressing hygge, Wiking shows you how to experience more joy and contentment the Danish way.

travel

Travel

books

Books

New York Times BestsellerEmbrace Hygge (pronounced hoo-ga) and become happier with this definitive guide to the Danish philosophy of comfort, togetherness, and well-being.Why are Danes the happiest people in the world? The answer, says Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen, is Hygge. Loosely translated, Hygge—pronounced Hoo-ga—is a sense of comfort, togetherness, and well-being. "Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience," Wiking explains. "It is about being with the people we love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe."Hygge is the sensation you get when you’re cuddled up on a sofa, in cozy socks under a soft throw, during a storm. It’s that feeling when you’re sharing comfort food and easy conversation with loved ones at a candlelit table. It is the warmth of morning light shining just right on a crisp blue-sky day.The Little Book of Hygge introduces you to this cornerstone of Danish life, and offers advice and ideas on incorporating it into your own life, such as:<ul><li>Get comfy. Take a break.</li><li>Be here now. Turn off the phones.</li><li>Turn down the lights. Bring out the candles.</li><li>Build relationships. Spend time with your tribe.</li><li>Give yourself a break from the demands of healthy living. Cake is most definitely Hygge.</li><li>Live life today, like there is no coffee tomorrow.</li></ul>From picking the right lighting to organizing a Hygge get-together to dressing hygge, Wiking shows you how to experience more joy and contentment the Danish way.

Meik Wiking

The Little Book of Hygge

<ul><li>You do not have to push through or ignore your human emotions to be resilient as a business owner.</li><li>Pushing is a choice, not a requirement. If you want to continue building your empire and creating your dream life despite a major (or minor) setback, pushing through is not the only way.</li><li>You become resilient when you focus on trusting yourself.</li><li>Prioritize your relationship with yourself, and watch in awe as you move forward and navigate the tough chapters of life with less doubt.</li><li>You can always count on yourself.</li></ul>

Reject the Idea that Resilient Means "Pushing Through"

<ul><li>Don't give up on your dreams early.</li><li>Try to find comfort in the unknown.</li><li>Encourage people to find more joy and purpose in their journey so they can stop seeking external validation.</li><li>You become resilient when you detach from external outcomes and find new ways to love the process</li><li>Your job isn't to know exactly how your next chapter will unfold, but to trust that it will in perfect timing.</li><li>Get clear on how you want your life (and business) to look when you come out the other side.</li></ul>

Working Without External Validation

What's the difference between someone who thrives regardless of external circumstances vs. someone who gets stuck and struggles to put one foot in front of the other? It starts with resilience ... but not in the traditional sense.

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

It's Time to Redefine What It Means to Be Resilient as an Entrepreneur

<ul><li>We struggle with habit change because we have unrealistic expectations of how things will turn out, how others should be, and how we should be.</li><li>When our expectations aren’t met, we feel disappointed, frustrated and sad.</li><li>When we turn from our Mind Movie and embrace reality, we overcome our inner resistance to habit change.</li></ul>

Key Insights

There’s a projector in our minds, and it’s constantly playing a movie about how we’d like things to be, our ideals about the world, our expectations of how things will turn out, how others should be, [and] how we should be.The Mind Movie is what stands in our way of making habit changes. It tells us that changing a habit should be easy and fun, but the reality is that we must wander outside our comfort zone.The Childish Mind is the part of our mind that complains about how things are, that fears discomfort, that just wants pleasure and comfort, that doesn’t want things to be difficult.

The Movie Inside Our Minds

<ul><li>Gratitude is a great antidote to resistance that we can practice each day, including when our Childish Mind eventually starts to rebel against doing the habit.</li><li> Take mistakes in stride, and take the long view that what really matters is not whether you mess up for a day or two, but what you do over weeks and months and years.</li></ul>

Taming The Childish Mind

<ul><li>Consider writing a short journal entry about your reflections, to solidify your learning.</li><li>Treat habit formation as a learning process, as a way to learn about yourself, your mind, mindfulness, resistance and more.</li><li>Gradually the habit becomes your new normal and you can expand a bit more, pushing your comfort zone a little at a time”.</li></ul>Question: “What does the resistance feel like? Is there a way to accept the thing you’re resisting, accept the discomfort, relax into it, and find gratitude for it? What is good about the discomfort?”

Understanding How Habits Are Formed

A key habit skill is learning to flow around the disruptions and just keep going.Notice feelings of discomfort and uncertainty, and stay with them. Get to know them. Get intimate with these feelings.When we experience groundlessness — a feeling of not being anchored, not certain, things not going our way, a feeling of loss — our minds don’t normally like it.One of the most difficult tasks we can give to our Childish Mind is letting go of what it really wants, and accepting life as it is, seeing that it’s already enough

Going With The Flow

<ul><li>A good practice is to not attach to the outcome. Have a good intention for the habit, but don’t worry too much about how it will turn out because you can’t control that”.</li><li> Tell yourself that when you slip and fall, it’s just another lesson that will teach you to be better at change.</li><li>Mistakes means you’re pushing into new ground and exploring something interesting — if you weren’t, you wouldn’t make mistakes.</li><li>See every mistake as an opportunity to learn, a thing that you can get better at, the feedback that’s so crucial for improvement.</li></ul>

Overcoming The Burden Of Making Mistakes

<ul><li>Form new, positive habits at least three times before taking on a quit”.</li><li>The first thing you need to do before you attempt to quit a habit is track it for three days and try to write down every trigger for the habit.</li><li>Each bad habit meets some kind of need, or you wouldn’t be doing the habit.</li><li>For each trigger and need, write down a positive replacement habit that will meet the same need.</li></ul>

Positive Habits Vs Bad Habits

Watch an urge gently, without judgment or wishing the feeling weren’t there. Treat it like a friend, kindly. And see that this feeling is impermanent, just arises but will pass, like a cloud. This is the whole meditation: just watch with curiosity and kindness, not attaching to the feeling or needing to act on it.Tell yourself you can do this, you’re strong, you got this. And be realistic in that things won’t go as planned, but those are learning opportunities. In the long run, you’re going to make it, because you’re worth it.

Handling The Urge

The real question isn’t whether you’ll mess up, but what you’ll do if you do mess up

<ul><li>Pick one new, easy habit you can do once a day</li><li>Don’t start right away</li><li>Create a vow</li><li>Create a space</li><li>Set a trigger & a reminder</li><li>Start with a Minimum Viable Habit</li><li>Focus on enjoying the habit</li><li>Practice mindfulness</li><li>Watch your Mind Movie</li><li>Reflect and journal</li><li>A daily practice</li><li>Increase gradually</li></ul>

How to Create a New Habit

<ul><li>Don’t attempt a quit until several successful new habit changes</li><li>Track your habit</li><li>List your triggers</li><li>List your needs</li><li>Come up with replacement habits</li><li>Use techniques you’ve learned</li><li>Gradual change vs. cold turkey</li><li>Learn to recognize urges as they arise</li><li>Form the right mindset</li><li>When you fail, get back on track and don’t let it derail you</li></ul>

How to Quit a Bad Habit

A guide to overcoming the mind's resistance to change, with a method for forming habits, increasing mindfulness, and dealing with life struggles.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

habits

Habits

Leo Babauta

Essential Zen Habits

The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world are invented. So instead of continuing to live a disempowering narrative about how the world is against you, invent an empowering story that provides you meaning and enhances the quality of your life.As it’s all invented anyway, so we might as well invent a story or a framework of meaning that enhances our quality of life and the life of those around us.

It’s All Invented Anyways!

Every problem, every dilemma, every dead end we find ourselves facing in life, only appears unsolvable inside a particular frame or point of view. Enlarge the box, or create another frame around the data, and problems vanish, while new opportunities appear.If you’re stuck with a seemingly unsolvable problem, flip the script. Try to see the problem through a new lens. More often than not, the problem will vanish and new opportunities will shine through.

Flip The Script

<ul><li>When you’re in a bad place, go through the above series of questions. Start moving your mind through a pattern that will help you get to a new set of beliefs and choices.</li><li>When you start seeing the world as a place of abundance, instead of a place of scarcity, you can begin to experience the emotions that make being a human so amazing – joy, awe, passion, and compassion.</li></ul>

Choose Your Starting Place

Resources and opportunities flourish when you generously include people in your passion for life. In orienting yourself towards abundance, you open up a new world of possibility in which you take bigger risks, pursue your dreams, and accept that you cannot always predict the outcome.You may give away short-term profits in pursuit of a bigger dream; you may take a long view without being able to predict the outcome. In the measurement world, you set a goal and strive for it. In the universe of possibility, you set the context and let life unfold.

Just Take Right Action And Let Life Unfold

Imagine that you graded all of the people in your life. Think about the way the grade you give influences your willingness to listen and appreciate that person. You’ll notice that giving people an “A,” instead of a lower grade, will provide you with a greater capacity to listen, understand, and appreciate that person. So instead of judging quickly and jumping to potentially false conclusions, give everyone you meet an A to start.

Give people an A Grade

Your success and fear of failure go hand-in-hand. Instead of being paralyzed by your fears, find ways to overcome them. When you can do this, you can use your <a href="https://calvinrosser.com/how-to-use-fear-as-fuel-for-growth/">fear as fuel for your growth</a>.If you want to give back, don’t worry too much about the outcome. Start giving back, and you’ll find that your contribution operates like a pebble in a pond. It will send positive ripples in all kinds of unexpected directions.

Success And Fear

Too many people spend their time calculating their moves and believing the world is a scarce, scary, and cruel place. Often, our calculations are related to our childhood, where we form habits based on what we are recognized for. These habits carry into adulthood, and many of them are limiting beliefs and practices that prevent us from operating at our highest point of contribution.

We Are Living Based On Obsolete Calculations

Instead of living under the illusion that you can control all of the outcomes in your life, adopt a more fluid perspective. Imagine that your journey in the river of life comes with all kinds of joy and challenges. Be open to all of those experiences. And instead of resisting the river and missing the joy, just float down it gracefully.

The River

Being present isn’t the same as accepting the negative parts of your situation in a resigned manner. You can’t eliminate the negative in your life fully. But you can meet negative emotions with less resistance, and in doing so, you can be more present with your reality and more easily let go of these experiences that will certainly pass.

Presence Is Positive, Resigned Acceptance Is Not

The more attention you shine on a particular subject, the more evidence of it will grow.If you focus on the negative in your life, it will flourish. But if you instead focus on the positive parts of your experience that you can be grateful for, you will find that life is a lot lighter than the alternative path.

What You Focus On, Grows

The Life Force for humankind is, perhaps, nothing more or less than the passionate energy to connect, express, and communicate. Enrollment is that life force at work, lighting sparks from person to person, scattering light in all directions. Sometimes the sparks ignite a blaze; sometimes they pass quietly, magically, almost imperceptibly, from one another to another.

Your Life Force 

When you accept responsibility for everything in your life, you are free to choose an empowering response that will allow you to conquer challenges and embrace opportunities.
Gracing yourself with responsibility for everything that happens in your life leaves your spirit whole, and leaves you free to choose again.

Take Responsibility

Setting a vision for yourself can help you separate from the local and day to day noise. It can give you a guiding light to keep working towards.A vision releases us from the weight and confusion of local problems and concerns and allows us to see the long clear line. A vision becomes a framework for possibility when it meets certain criteria that distinguish it from the objectives of the downward spiral.

The Power of A Vision

12 incredibly helpful practices from a conductor and a psychotherapist that will transform the way you see the world and fuel your personal and professional success.

An updated edition outlines 12 strategies for discovering creative approaches to goal fulfillment, combining the insights of a Boston Philharmonic conductor and a relationship psychotherapist while sharing inspirational stories, parables and anecdotes.

In their playing you hear not only precision, color and balance, but thunder, lightning and the language of the heart. This is what the Boston Globe said about a performance by conductor Benjamin Zander with the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra, but it could apply equally to the Zanders' inspirational book, the product of a synthesis of the diverse worlds of the symphony orchestra and cutting-edge psychology. The Art of Possibility offers a set of breakthrough practices for creativity in all human enterprises. Infused with the energy of their dynamic partnership, the book joins together Ben's extraordinary talent as a mover and shaker, teacher, and communicator, with Rosamund Stone Zander's genius for creating innovative paradigms for personal and professional fulfillment. In lively counterpoint, the authors provide us with a deep sense of the powerful role that the notion of possibility can play in every aspect of our lives. The Zanders' deceptively simple practices are based on two premises: that life is composed as a story ("it's all invented") and that, with new definitions, much more is possible than people ordinarily think. The book shifts our perspective with uplifting stories, parables, and anecdotes from the authors' personal experiences as well as from famous and everyday heroes. From "Giving an A," to the mysterious "Rule Number 6," to "Leading from Any Chair"-the account of Ben's stunning realization that the conductor/leader's power is directly linked to how much greatness he is willing to grant to others-each practice offers an opportunity for personal and organizational transformation. The Art of Possibility provides a life-altering approach to fulfilling dreams large and small. The Zanders invite us all to become passionate communicators, leaders, and performers whose lives radiate possibility into the world.Rosamund Stone Zander is a family therapist and a landscape painter. Benjamin Zander is the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and a professor at the New England Conservatory of Music. Based on the principles developed through the authors' unique partnership, Mr. Zander gives presentations to managers and executives around the world and Ms. Zander conducts workshops for organizations on practicing the art of possibility.

Rosamund Stone Zander

Benjamin Zander

The Art of Possibility

<ul><li>In baseball, Reggie Jackson struck out 2600 times in his career, the most in the history of baseball. But you don't hear about the strikes out. People remember the home runs. </li><li>Early in his career, Denzel Washington auditioned for a part in a Broadway musical. He didn't get it. He walked out of there to prepare for the next audition and the next audition but continued to fail.</li></ul> You will fail at some point in your life. You will lose and suffer at something. However, every failed attempt is one step closer to success. Get up and do it again and again. Sooner or later, you will get a break.

Fall forward

If you don't fail, you're not even trying.  To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.

Have the guts to fail

One of The Best Motivational Speech Ever! ================================================ 👨🏻‍⚕️ If you're struggling and having a hard time, consider taking an online therapy session with our partner BetterHelp: http://tryonlinetherapy.com/hesmotivation If you use our link and make a purchase, we will receive a tiny commission percentage. Thank you for supporting us :) ================================================ 👕 Get Your Merchandise With 10% Discount Now: https://teespring.com/stores/hesmotivation?pr=disc10 ================================================ ► SUBSCRIBE for more: http://bit.ly/1hD9KNd ✔️ FACEBOOK ► http://www.facebook.com/HamzaEsSaghoini ✔️ TWITTER ► http://twitter.com/HamzaEsSaghoini ✔️ INSTAGRAM ► http://instagram.com/HamzaEsSaghoini ================================================ ►Thanks to University of Pennsylvania for this amazing video: http://www.upenn.edu/ https://www.youtube.com/user/UnivPennsylvania https://www.facebook.com/UnivPennsylvania music by: Grégoire Lourme: http://www.gregoirelourme.com/ Steve Jablonsky: https://itunes.apple.com/es/artist/steve-jablonsky/id21402948 ================================================ ►Any material uploaded in this video is used with the permission of the author. All video footage used including thumbnails is licensed under Creative Commons CC-BY. https://creativecommons.org/ However, if any content owners would like their images removed, please contact us by email at hesheshes19@gmail.com ================================================ This is a referral link for BetterHelp, http://tryonlinetherapy.com/hesmotivation. If you use our link and make a purchase, we will receive a tiny commission percentage, Thank you for supporting us :) #motivationalvideo #motivationalspeech #HESMotivation

videos

Videos

Denzel Washington - Fall Forward

In his book Peak, psychologist Anders Ericsson downplays the importance of native-born genius and emphasizes the importance of deliberate practice to perfect some skills. However, after much-continued work and mastering technical skills, there are moments when the mind takes flight. We call this inspiration.

Inspiration

Inspiration doesn't make sense when we think of it logically. Inspiration feels uncontrollable and irresistible. When one becomes inspired, it feels like time changes its pace. The senses are amplified, and you may experience goosebumps or a feeling of being overawed by beauty. You may feel a burst of energy and an awareness of being capable of more than you thought.

Moments of inspiration

According to Vladimir Nabokov, inspiration comes in phases. <ol><li>Prefatory glow is the feeling of wellbeing that removes awareness of physical discomfort.</li><li>An instant vision or lighting bolt of inspiration that forms the nucleus of a work that will grow from it over a long period.</li></ol>

Inspiration comes in phases

<ul><li>Inspired work stands separate from normal life. Inspiration is not driven by money or status but the work itself takes hold of a person.</li><li>Inspiration is not earned. It is a gift.</li><li>Inspiration is not something you can control.</li><li>Inspiration is not controlled by one person. Inspiration has a tendency to raise a sense of possibility in others. In turn, the inspired person performs his own feats and inspires others.</li><li>Inspiration is fleeting and cannot be contained.</li><li>Inspiration demands a certain posture of awe and mystery.</li></ul>

Features of inspiration

That moment when mind and spirit take flight stands apart from normal life.

productivity

Productivity

problemsolving

Problem Solving

creativity

Creativity

What Is Inspiration?

Even though we experience love as deeply personal and spontaneous, it has a history. The way people fall in love now is different from what they've done in the past. There are other ways of arranging relationships depending on what a society happens to believe.In the past, marriage was purely transactional between influential people from neighbouring kingdoms. It was used to expand wealth and power. The idea that you should love your spouse would've been laughable.

Love has a history

Rudel is one of the earliest known troubadours or skilled court poets. In the 12th century, he wrote poetry exclusively on love in honour of the countess of Tripoli, whom he has fallen deeply in love with without ever having set eyes on her. Rudel's idea of love is very particular and very new at that time. It is love that 's entirely divorced from practical considerations such as  marriage, children, money, dynasties or any kind of reciprocation. Instead, it is based on infatuation.

France 1147AD, Jaufre Rudel, the Prince of Blaye writes about love

1745, Versailles France. Jeanne-Antoinette is the King's chief mistress and will now be known as Madame de Pompadour and resided in court with the King. At this point, the King has been married for 20 years. He married for reasons of state and had mistresses on the side. It was accepted that there is an imperfect fit between marriage and love. Marriage was for children and continuity. Love was for excitement and drama.

Love without marriage

In 1812, Scotland. Harriet married John Lambton, the first Earl of Durham, despite the families trying to intervene. John has land and responsibilities, and Harriet is a pretty but illegitimate daughter of the Earl of Cholmondeley with no money and little social status. The modern couple believed that love should come first and practical considerations second. They are exemplars of the new philosophy of romanticism which prioritises feeling over reason and impulse over tradition. They believe that marriage should be the consequence of love.

Romanticism changes the love of the old system

In the early 19th century, Jane Austen is defining the wise ideal of modern love. In her novel Pride and Prejudice,  she shows that her idea that to marry only for money is a disaster, but to marry only for love is a terrible folly. In her eyes, marriage requires warmth, tenderness and managerial competence. From this, Austen concludes that few people are well suited for marriage. In her novels, she portrays marriages that are a little hollow or grim with only a few very happy ones.

The world of Pride and Prejudice

In 1859, Charles Darwin publishes The Origin of Species, arguing that humans are descended from the primates and that their drives and basic psychology are inherited and that their ideals are not wholly their own fault. He argues that we are half apes and for apes to aim for faithful and long egalitarian relationships is to attempt to do something hugely difficult. Darwin implies that humans might by nature be predisposed to, just as many apes are, polygamy, opportunistic sex and leaving one mate for another based on breeding potential.

Darwin on love

Free love in the 1960s America argued that society's rules against nudity, same-sex relationships and sex before marriage are forms of sexual repression. Monogamy is being questioned. Sexually liberated men and women should give up on marriage and jealousy, and adultery and divorce is a romantic idea of what love could be.  In  2015,  Belgium became the nation with the highest divorce rate in the developed world. 71% of couples will split up because initial expectations were unmet. In the UK, the divorce rate is 42%.

Free love in the 1960s

The romantic dream of love is often a disappointment. Intelligent people complain that they can't understand the subject of love. The future hope for love lies in the idea of sacrifice, that we won't get everything we want from love, relationships or marriage. Our ideals of relationships to unite sex, affection, raising a family, a career, and security will fail by necessity. The idea of sacrifice helps if we consider that getting half of what we want is still a lot compared to what it would be like if we avoided relationships altogether.

The modern ideals of relationships

We think of love as merely spontaneous – but it is in fact an emotion acutely shaped by its history. Understanding more about the course of love in time can help us think through our options in the present. Please subscribe here: http://tinyurl.com/o28mut7 If you like our films take a look at our shop (we ship worldwide): http://www.theschooloflife.com/shop/all/ Brought to you by http://www.theschooloflife.com Produced in collaboration with Mike Booth http://www.youtube.com/somegreybloke #TheSchoolOfLife

history

History

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

We think of love as merely spontaneous – but it is in fact an emotion acutely shaped by its history. Understanding more about the course of love in time can help us think through our options in the present. Please subscribe here: http://tinyurl.com/o28mut7
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We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

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The School of Life

HISTORY OF IDEAS - Love

We all fail, and failure can result in some of the greatest lessons. But would you share those failures with potential employers?You do just that by writing a “rejection resume.”Most people tell themselves not to think about the negative things in life. When we talk about Elon Musk and other successful people, we talk about the ways they’ve succeeded. But they’ve all had failures, too. It’s okay to fail. You can learn from your mistakes and rebound.Rejection and failure are never perfect, but they are perfectly aligned with your story.

Rejection Resume: A Primer

From the time you started applying to colleges, you’ve likely had some successes and failures, so can easily start jotting them down creating a résumé from it.Start just like a regular résumé. State your objectives or your purpose. Write down how many courses you failed, how many schools rejected you, how many times you were fired from a job, and how many jobs you didn’t get. You will have a good solid résumé of your trials and tribulations.

How To Write A Rejection Resume

Your rejection résumé can be a compass when plan A doesn’t work. When you jot it down and have documented proof that your original plans don’t work, you can cultivate some alternatives. You may decide being an employee for certain jobs or organizations is not working out. Or you may want to become an entrepreneur. Try to decipher what you could have done differently.While you can keep this information to yourself, sharing your rejection résumé by posting it on LinkedIn as a unique way to build a network and potentially field new job offers.

How To Use Your Rejection Resume

When people post their struggles, it often resonates with a lot of others. It says, ‘Here are the jobs and organizations that have rejected me, but I’m still here. I’m still optimistic about my future.’ If your connections or followers on LinkedIn relate to your story, perhaps it may go viral. You could have offers coming from the same organizations that have rejected you.

What People See In A Rejection Resume

Compiling a list of rejections might seem demoralizing, but it can actually lead to new opportunities, suggests author Eli Joseph.


career

Career

Why you should share all your failures in a rejection résumé

A useful exercise with any problem or idea is to visualize what you want to see happen for yourself over the next two years. The goal isn’t to solve anything. If you take an idea and just hold it in your head, you unconsciously start to do things that advance you toward that goal. The practice is what helps you to manufacture your own opportunities. In essence it builds confidence. Furthermore, this confidence helps you seize opportunities or create your own so that you can achieve what you desire.

Visualizing Our Goals

A limit automatically forces you to be creative, because now you have to come up with a way to get around it.Limits can be financial, biological, social, or even made up. When Steven Spielberg shot Jaws, he wanted to get an animatronic shark, but it was too expensive at the time. To get around this limit, he decided to film from the shark’s point of view, making the movie scarier than it could ever have been with some mechanic model. Ultimately, this is what made the movie a big hit and sparked a whole new point-of-view genre in horror movies.

Limits Make You More Creative

Ideas rarely enter the world fully formed and ready to go. That’s why he always remains open to changes, even after the idea has been released.For example, most of Twitter’s main features were user suggestions. People initially copied tweets they liked to share them, so Twitter introduced the “retweet.” When one user wanted to bundle together all tweets about the South by Southwest Festival, he added #sxsw to his tweets, and voilà, the hashtag was born.

Get The Raw Idea Out

Frustration is a great source of motivation. You can’t stop at building a solution. You have to use it too. If you’re not the most ecstatic advocate and power user of your own product, you’ll never be able to build it to a point where enough people use it so it’s profitable.

Solve Your Own Problem

this is the core of entrepreneurship – being the person who makes something happen for yourself.

The true promise of a connected society is enabling our dormant potential for empathy.

When you hand good people possibility, they do great things.

Your goals should be bigger than your ego

If you make the opportunity. you'll be the first in the position to take advantage of it

Creative lessons from the co-founder of Twitter.

Biz Stone, the co-founder of Twitter, discusses the power of creativity and how to harness it, through stories from his remarkable life and career. THINGS A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME From GQ's "Nerd of the Year" to one of Time's most influential people in the world, Biz Stone represents different things to different people. But he is known to all as the creative, effervescent, funny, charmingly positive and remarkably savvy co-founder of Twitter-the social media platform that singlehandedly changed the way the world works. Now, Biz tells fascinating, pivotal, and personal stories from his early life and his careers at Google and Twitter, sharing his knowledge about the nature and importance of ingenuity today. In Biz's world: -Opportunity can be manufactured -Great work comes from abandoning a linear way of thinking -Creativity never runs out -Asking questions is free -Empathy is core to personal and global success In this book, Biz also addresses failure, the value of vulnerability, ambition, and corporate culture. Whether seeking behind-the-scenes stories, advice, or wisdom and principles from one of the most successful businessmen of the new century, THINGS A LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME will satisfy every reader.