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The worst kind of leadership is when a leader behaves like a domineering boss, making others feel insignificant. But letâs have a look at the other extreme where the leader believes that leadership means bearing every burden themselves.
Joanna, one of my clients in coaching, started our session saying âMy team trusts meâthey followed my vision, feed off my passion, and leans on my expertise. Yet, I hesitated to delegate, not because I donât trust them, but because I donât want to let them down.â
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The silent mantra that doesnât let us delegate:
"If I donât do it, it might failâand if it fails, Iâll have let them down."
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It hit her when we tried to laugh about it:Â Â
"Why delegate when you can overwork, overstress, and overcontrol?"
The punchline? The only person she was controlling was herselfâinto exhaustion.
The irony was undeniable. She wanted to build empiresâmultiple businesses, global collaborationsâbut she was stuck in a loop of self-sabotage. Her "hard work" wasnât scaling; it was suffocating her true potential. Â
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The breakthrough came when she realized:Â Â
1. Delegation isnât abandonment. Itâs an invitation for others to grow. Â
2. Clarity dissolves fear. Defining outcomes and timelines first gave her the safety net to let go. Â
3. Her survival mode was outdated. The skills that got her here (hyper-independence) wouldnât get her there (scale). Â
She started small, sketched a few deliverables with a low to medium-risk task, handed it off, and watched two things happen:Â Â
- Her team stepped up. Â
- Nothing collapsed. Â
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Now, she has designed a new playbook for her leadership style:
- Pre-delegation clarity: "What does âdoneâ look like?" (Write it first.)Â Â
- The 10% rule: If she was doing more than 10% of someone elseâs job, she would be the bottleneck. Â
- Humorous accountability: When she slips into "martyr mode," she would repeat: "Delegate first, apologize never (unless you micromanageâthen apologize profusely)."
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Leadership isnât about carrying the weight alone. Itâs about creating structures where others can lift with you. And sometimes, it takes a sarcastic joke to expose the absurdity of the old wayâso you can finally change it. Â
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The turning point? A sarcastic joke:Â Â
"Teamwork makes the dream work⌠unless I do all the work myself."
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P.S. My DMs are open if you want to shift your leadership perspective. No "overworking" required.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
Customer Quality Management | Organisational Coaching | Quality & Leadership Writer I help quality teams and leaders bridge the gap between process excellence and people potential.
CURATOR'S NOTE
Designing a System for Confident Leadership.
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