First there a need to understand what is a mistake? Mistake is when the action we take fails to achieve a pre-determined goal or outcome. But what if we don't have a goal in mind? Are all actions considered mistakes? Let's delve deeper into understanding mistakes:<ul><li>An action is considered a mistake when it does not produce the desired result</li><li>Not having a predetermined goal does not necessarily mean an action is not a mistake</li><li>Mistakes can also be seen as valuable learning opportunities and a chance for growth</li></ul>

Understanding Mistakes

What's the point of learning from other's mistakes?
<ul>
<li>Learning from others can help us avoid making the same mistakes ourselves.</li>
<li>We can learn new perspectives and approaches to solve problems from others' mistakes.</li>
</ul>
Simply put, learning from other's mistakes can save us from trouble and help us grow.🤔💡💪

Do We Really Need To Learn From Other's Mistakes ?

We often wonder if it's better to learn from others' mistakes or have our own experiences. This has two sides to it: learning undiscovered facts and learning from others' subjective experiences based on different factors.Now, Learning from others' mistakes can save us from repeating them. At the same time, making our own mistakes can help us learn and grow.However, it's important to understand that every situation is unique, and what works for someone else may not work for us.So, the best approach is to learn from others but also gain our own experiences to fully understand and grow.

Learning from Others' Mistakes Vs Own Experience 

A balance between pragmatic and emotional approach is the key. . Being empathetic and open to learning will provide a better perspective to delve and imbibe the ability to analyze the situations and differentiate. "Learning from others mistakes" is easier said than done. But if we understand the depth of this phrase, we can make our lives more productive and efficient.

Balnced Approach

While this old age adage is known to everyone but what do we actually mean by it at present context and does it apply for every situation. There is a need to dvelve deeper and understand it true meaning.

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Productivity

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Personal Development

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Parenting

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Learning & Education

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Leadership & Management

Is It Okay to 'Learn from Others' Mistakes'?

“Great food and good company are two of life’s simplest yet greatest pleasures.”

Simple pleasures

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Religion & Spirituality

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Mental Health

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Love & Relationships

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Entertainment

Happy holidays to you all!

<ul><li>Positive parenting is about showing children love, warmth and kindness.</li><li>It’s about guiding children to act the way you want by encouraging and teaching them.</li><li>It’s about helping children thrive by sending the powerful message: You are loved, you are good, you matter.</li></ul>

What is positive parenting and why is it powerful?

<ul><li>Positive parenting sets children up for success</li></ul>  Research shows that positive parenting helps children do better in school, have fewer behavioral problems, and stronger mental health.<ul><li>Positive parenting helps the teenage brain. </li></ul>Neuroscientists discovered that it contributes to better functioning in brain regions associated with emotions and cognition during teen years.<ul><li>Positive parenting is linked to a happy and healthy adulthood.</li></ul>Harvard scientists found that positive parenting has long-term benefits, including better relationships, mental health, and well-being during adulthood.

Research reveals the power of positive parenting. 

"There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one."

"Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws."

The PRIDE skills are five positive parenting techniques that can easily be used in every day life. <ul><li>P➡️ Praise ( Love what they do ).</li><li>R➡️ Reflection ( Say what they say ).</li><li>I ➡️ Imitation ( Do what they do ).</li><li>D➡️ Description ( Say what they do ).</li><li>E ➡️ Enjoyment ( Show Warmth and Enthusiasm )</li></ul>

PRIDE skills — Five ways to provide positive parenting.

“I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.”

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."

"We never know the love of the parent till we become parents ourselves."

<ul><li>Social skills and manners.</li></ul><ol><li>Being kind.</li><li>Being a good sport.</li><li>Compromising.</li><li>Doing things for others.</li></ol><ul><li>Self-control skills.</li></ul><ol><li>Being careful and gentle</li><li>Being safe.</li><li>Staying calm.</li><li>Calmly expressing feelings.</li></ol><ul><li>School and learning skills.</li></ul><ol><li>Concentrating.</li><li>Creative thinking.</li><li>Flexible thinking.</li><li>Focusing and staying on task.</li></ol><ul><li>Listening and obeying skills.</li></ul><ol><li>Accepting no for an answer.</li><li>Asking permission.</li><li>Doing things right away.</li><li>Following directions.</li></ol>

Good behaviors to notice and praise:

This is done by “catching” your child doing something good that is opposite of an inappropriate behavior.For instance, want your child to stop running ahead at the grocery store? Praise him for staying next to you.When you compliment your child for displaying a good behavior, it helps him learn what to do rather than what not to do, and increases the likelihood he’ll repeat that good behavior.

Targeting inappropriate behaviors with PRIDE skills.

"Why don’t kids understand their nap is not for them, but for us?"

Parenting experts say that as little as five minutes of daily distraction-free playtime can strengthen the parent-child bond, and connect with your child.Some Tips :<ol><li>Play with PRIDE.</li><li>Let your child lead the way.</li></ol>

Taking the time to play ( Positive Parenting Tips )

"Having a child is like getting a tattoo ... on your face. You better be committed."

"Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them."

PRIDE skills add goodness and magic to playtime. They turn playtime into special playtime. The more PRIDE skills used, the better!

Play with PRIDE.

Since children rarely have the opportunity to be in charge, letting your child lead can make playtime feel extra special.Here are two ways to follow your child’s lead:<ul><li>Go with the flow by letting your child choose what you play with and how you play (as long as it’s safe).</li><li>Reduce commands and questions such as, “Say choo choo!” and, “What will his name be?”</li></ul>

Let your child lead the way.

<ul><li>Do what feels right for your family.</li></ul>You know your child best, so use the skills in a way that feels right. It’s all about encouraging values and behaviors that are personally important to you.<ul><li>Give yourself praise.</li></ul>Parenting can be hard so remember to go easy on yourself. Showing yourself love is important just as you’d show your child love. Give yourself praise from time-to-time for doing your best.<a href="https://www.first5la.org/">Further Parenting Resources.</a>

A Final Note.

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

The Power of Positive Thinking don't work while Parenting. Therefore, brought you " The Power of Positive Parenting" .

The Power of Positive Parenting with PRIDE Skills: Praise, Reflection, Imitation, Description and Enjoyment.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Health

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Meditation

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Science & Nature

The Power of Positive Parenting.

<ul><li>Life-long friends make new life choices, drift apart.</li><li>The career mindedness, the self optimization, the adventures, the travel, the trying to survive in desirable places to live which become comically expensive to do so — all of it has left us very tired.</li><li>Difficult to make true friends <a href="https://annehelen.substack.com/p/the-friendship-dip">after entering 30s</a></li><li>Friendship fizzling into WhatsApp volleys back and forth.</li></ul>

The dwindling presence of friendship in life

Modern loneliness masks itself as hyper connectivity. And so people have easily 1000 virtual friends, but no one they can ask to feed their cat. That loneliness, which is really a depletion of the social capital, is extremely powerful.

<ul><li>Friendships are, by their very nature, made of friction - it takes effort to know what is going on in someone’s day-to-day life and to show up for them when they maybe a vulnerable anxious mess — this is all friction.</li><li>Friction is not just interrupting your day or life to help out a friend, but also admitting you need the kind of help you cannot pay for or order yourself.</li><li>But only then, returns could be expected from them, for when your own self gets vulnerable, anxious and messy.</li></ul>

Friendship - The necessary friction

<ul><li>Modern life has brought us closer, nay made dependent, on technology and gadgets.</li><li>Modern technopolis has replaced humans with technological solutions to the problem of a lone self.</li><li>People living in their atomised technological fiefdoms - the way a hardcore capitalistic society expects them to be, to be able to sell more.</li><li>The essential skill of social negotiation learned on the streets during unscripted, un-choreographed, unmonitored interaction with people is slowly getting lost.</li><li>Social muscles are being atrophied.</li></ul>

Symptom of a larger problem - Social Atrophy

We’ve come through 75 years where having neighbors was essentially optional: if you had a credit card, you could get everything you needed to survive dropped off at your front door. But the next 75 years aren’t going to be like that; we’re going to need to return to the basic human experience of relying on the people around you.

<ul><li>It’s crucial to remember we are not machines.</li><li>Be willing to talk or engage with people who don’t share the carefully calibrated views that we broadcast online.</li><li>In addition to making the effort with friends — new, old, promising acquaintances — and asking for the kind of help and support we need, as well as providing it in return.</li><li>We need to make changes to regain the capacity to show up for these kinds of interactions and relationships.</li></ul>

We animals, need to be more social, the way we have evolved till now

The dip in friendship is a critical symptom of a larger social problem.

Why friendships have started to feel strikingly similar to admin

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Remote Work

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Travel

The friendship problem

<ul><li>Loving parents can sometimes unintentionally hurt their children's self-esteem.</li><li>Overprotecting, injecting guilt, criticizing, and slinging sarcastic comments will likely hurt self-esteem and lead to defiance.</li><li>The more you communicate in positive ways, and are accountable for your negative behaviors, the better your child will feel. </li></ul>

Overprotection Parents 

As parents, we try our best to foster positive <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/self-esteem">self-esteem </a>in our children. Having strong self-esteem encourages us to push through challenges, try new things, and believe in ourselves. Self-esteem is highly influential in how we see ourselves, which shapes our behaviors and decisions.

Self-steem 

1. Overprotecting Constantly shielding a child from challenges and obstacles can prevent them from developing <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/confidence">confidence </a>and a sense of competence. Overprotecting can also limit a child's opportunities to explore, learn, and make mistakes, which are all important for their growth and development.Moreover, overprotecting children can lead to feelings of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/anxiety">anxiety </a>and insecurity, as they may not feel prepared to face the world on their own. It can also create a sense of dependence and a lack of independence, which can be problematic as children transition into adulthood.

Here are four types of self-esteem-sapping parental behaviors.

It’s one thing to ask a child how they would feel if they were in your shoes or someone else’s in a given situation. Too often, however, parents push this to the limit and try to make their children feel guilty because of their thoughts, feelings, or actions. Parents who use guilt to control their children run the risk of alienating them.

2. Injecting Guilt 

Being criticized by a parent can be emotionally challenging, especially if it is done in a harsh or demeaning manner. Critical comments can erode a person's self-esteem and sense of worth and can cause feelings of sadness, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/anger">anger </a>, or frustration. It can also lead to a decrease in <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/motivation">motivation </a>and a lack of confidence in one's abilities.

3. Critizing Harshly 

You are using sarcasm if you say things you don’t mean and imply the opposite of what you’re saying through your tone of voice. An example would be saying something like, “Oh, aren’t you smart,” when your child makes a poor choice. The use of sarcasm hurts children because it feels shaming. Putting a child down through sarcasm creates an obstacle for parents trying to communicate effectively.

4. Speaking With Sarcasm 

It’s easy to say, “I just won’t do that anymore,” and still fall into the pattern of repeating these problematic behaviors. Occasional slips may occur. When they do, address these negative behaviors with your child.

Losses In Self-Esteem May Trigger Gains In Defiance

As I explain in <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Days-Less-Defiant-Child-Breakthrough-dp-0306829800/dp/0306829800/ref=dp_ob_image_bk">10 Days to a Less Defiant Child </a>, as a result of being exposed to the <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/parenting">parenting </a>behaviors discussed above, children may lash out later on in ways that are emotionally hurtful and upsetting. This can include tantrums, expressing resentments, frequently being argumentative, and defying reasonable requests. Many children and teens have admitted tome that these negative emotions and behaviors they engage in after feeling hurt by their parents.

Less Defiant Child 

Craig had made very strong progress in relating to his son in a far less critical manner—until one night when Tom and Craig were at a soccer awards banquet, and Tom sarcastically mocked him for looking down when he received his award. I coached Craig not to beat himself up, and he was determined to continue to be less controlling and more open. With this in mind, Craig approached Tom and said, “Tom, I <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/forgiveness">apologize </a>for being so sarcastic and critical of you. Seeing you up there, getting that award, made me feel honored to be your father.”

Reflect On Your Negative Behaviors 

Your ways of interacting with your child play a huge influence in shaping how they develop self-value in their life. The more you communicate in positive ways, and model being accountable for your negative behaviors, the more you can influence your child to do the same—and support them in having strong self-esteem.

Final Thoughts 

Even the most loving and caring parents may inadvertantly harm their kids.

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Human Resources

Hurting Your Child's Self-Esteem: 4 Blindspots

Emotional Intelligence (1995) by Daniel Goleman highlights emotional intelligence's impact on various aspects of life and presents ways to improve it as an alternative to cognition-centered approaches of the human mind in psychology.

Emotional Intelligence (English)

Emotions play a big role in our lives, not just in romantic or physical situations. This book explains how emotions impact our decisions and interactions with others. It also discusses the importance of emotional intelligence in using emotions for positive outcomes and avoiding harm. The book also explores how emotional intelligence can be developed and why it's important for society as a whole.

🤑 What is in it for me?

Emotions are important because they help us learn from our experiences, interpret the feelings of others, and drive us to act.They allow us to remember past events and learn from them, understand the emotions of others, and react quickly to situations. Without emotions, we would lose these advantages and our lives would be less fulfilling.

🔥The Power of Emotions

Our emotions are important for understanding our environment, but they can also lead us to make mistakes. When we are overly emotional, our judgment becomes clouded and we may overreact to situations or act suddenly without thinking. Our emotions can also be influenced by past experiences, causing us to react irrationally to present situations. It's important to manage our emotions effectively in order to think clearly and make sound judgments.

🌥️Emotions Cloud Rational Judgment

To use the power of your emotions without being overwhelmed, you need emotional intelligence (EI). This means recognizing and managing your feelings. Recognizing and naming your feelings is the first step, followed by becoming aware of what causes them. Emotional intelligence can help you concentrate on achieving goals, such as managing feelings to focus on writing a paper for university. It can also help you defer gratification, allowing you to manage your workload effectively.

🎢Harness Emotions for Success

Managing your own mind is not enough for a happy life. Emotional intelligence is key to good social interactions and fulfilling relationships. It helps you understand others' emotions through nonverbal cues, and enables you to empathize with them and behave in a way that evokes positive reactions. Emotional intelligence can also help develop social aptitudes like teaching and conflict resolution, which are essential for maintaining relationships.

🧠Emotional Intelligence Guide

Our thoughts and emotions are connected through strong neural pathways. Damage to these connections can lead to deficits in emotional intelligence. For example, severing the link between the thinking and feeling brain can result in a loss of emotional capacity and self-awareness. The thinking brain also plays a role in regulating the feeling brain's response to stimuli, allowing us to think clearly in the face of perceived threats. Damage to these connections can make it difficult to regulate emotions.

🔥Balance Emotional and Rational Brain

Emotional intelligence is just as important as high IQ in leading a successful and fulfilled life. People with high levels of emotional intelligence are more likely to be successful and lead healthier lifestyles. Studies show that students with high levels of empathy and impulse control are more successful academically and socially. Managers who are more socially adept tend to be more persuasive. Emotional intelligence can also help mitigate the harmful effects of stress on health. Despite this, emotional skills are not emphasized enough in the typical school curriculum.

🏥Emotional intelligence boosts health

High emotional intelligence is beneficial for individuals and society, while low emotional intelligence can lead to negative effects. Studies show a link between poor emotional intelligence and increased crime rates, delinquency, and mental health problems. Children raised by emotionally intelligent parents display higher emotional competence. The emotional intelligence of children is crucial for the future of society, as they will become the next generation of parents, managers, and politicians.

🌟Children's Emotional Intelligence Shapes Future

Boosting emotional intelligence is possible through exercises like inner dialogues to enhance self-awareness and self-management. Mirroring another person's body language can improve empathy, while positive thinking and self-motivation can be achieved by changing the way you explain successes and failures.

🚀Boost Emotional Intelligence Now!

To use emotional intelligence in everyday life, consider how men and women deal with emotions differently. For example, when a woman complains, she may want validation, not immediate solutions. If you're upset during a conflict, take a break to calm down and avoid saying something you'll regret. And when criticizing someone, be specific and offer a solution to avoid making them feel devalued. Monitoring your pulse during an argument can also help you recognize when you need a rest period.

🧠Emotional Intelligence in All Settings

The book emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in our lives. It explains that emotions are necessary for guidance and motivation but can also lead to irrational behavior. Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that enable us to recognize and manage our emotions. It is a better predictor of success than IQ, and we can develop it throughout our lives. For parents and teachers, encouraging children to discuss their feelings and praising their efforts and self-control can help develop their emotional skills.

💡Key Ideas

Emotional intelligence is perhaps the most important factor in helping us lead fulfilled lives.

#1 BESTSELLER • The groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be smart, with a new introduction by the author “A thoughtfully written, persuasive account explaining emotional intelligence and why it can be crucial.”—USA Today Everyone knows that high IQ is no guarantee of success, happiness, or virtue, but until Emotional Intelligence, we could only guess why. Daniel Goleman's brilliant report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers startling new insight into our “two minds”—the rational and the emotional—and how they together shape our destiny. Drawing on groundbreaking brain and behavioral research, Goleman shows the factors at work when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do surprisingly well. These factors, which include self-awareness, self-discipline, and empathy, add up to a different way of being smart—and they aren’t fixed at birth. Although shaped by childhood experiences, emotional intelligence can be nurtured and strengthened throughout our adulthood—with immediate benefits to our health, our relationships, and our work.    The twenty-fifth-anniversary edition of Emotional Intelligence could not come at a better time—we spend so much of our time online, more and more jobs are becoming automated and digitized, and our children are picking up new technology faster than we ever imagined. With a new introduction from the author, the twenty-fifth-anniversary edition prepares readers, now more than ever, to reach their fullest potential and stand out from the pack with the help of EI.

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Business

Author of Emotional Intelligence and psychologist Daniel Goleman has transformed the way the world educates children, relates to family and friends, and conducts business. The Wall Street Journal ranked him one of the 10 most influential business thinkers. Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence was on The New York Times best sellers list for a year-and-a-half. Named one of the 25 "Most Influential Business Management Books" by TIME, it has been translated into 40 languages. The Harvard Business Review called emotional intelligence (EI) “a revolutionary, paradigm-shattering idea.”  Goleman’s new book, Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, argues that attention — a fundamental mental ability for success — has come under siege.

Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence

Uncover the melody in Money & Investments, Motivation & Inspiration, Movies & Shows, Music, and Parenting. Dive into how these seemingly diverse elements create a harmonious life.

Introduction - Life's Symphony

Investing isn't just about money; it's about wisely allocating resources in all life areas. Learn to invest time and love in relationships, self-care, and personal growth, just as you would in financial ventures.

The Art of Smart Investments

Balancing Mind, Body, and Spirit is crucial. To assist, consider a <a href="https://17fcchchd2viwod5wi1ry39y59.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=liv">Revolutionary Dietary Supplement</a> for physical health, the <a href="https://d009cbdeoz0hwoa63kwk45y2wq.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=livk">Hyperbolic Stretching Program</a> for body flexibility, and <a href="https://freemeditationscripts.com/shop/">Free Meditation Scripts</a> for spiritual balance. And if you're keen to deepen your meditation knowledge, <a href="https://freemeditationscripts.com/blog/">explore insightful blog posts</a> on the subject.

You Want the Best Life, Right? You Should Definitely Check These Out!

The best investment you can make is in yourself.

Music isn't just a form of entertainment; it's a source of daily inspiration. It can lift spirits, motivate us, and even help in parenting, offering a rhythm to our life’s narrative.

Inspiration in Every Tune

Parenting is more than a responsibility; it's a source of endless inspiration. It teaches patience, resilience, and the joy of watching someone grow - principles that echo in all life aspects.

Parenting: A Motivational Journey

The stories and characters in movies and shows often reflect our struggles, dreams, and triumphs, offering motivation and insights into our own lives and the roles we play.

Movies & Shows as Mirrors to Life

Every moment is a fresh beginning.

From smart money management to the harmonious blend of music and parenting, this guide illustrates how various life facets intertwine, creating a richer, more balanced existence. It's a reminder that the best investments are often in our health, relationships, and personal growth.

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Money & Investments

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Movies & Shows

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Music

Smart Spending for a Fulfilling Life: Money, Music, and More

“The ego we see most commonly goes by a more casual definition: an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition.”﻿

💡At any given time in life, we’re aspiring to something, we have achieved success, or we have failed.💡We must cultivate humility, diligence, and self-awareness if we are to remove ego.💡Maintain your own scorecard.💡Don’t fake it ’til you make it—make it.💡Always stay a student.

The Five Big Ideas

The book is structured as short essays split into three parts: Aspire, Success, and Failure. These being three phases that one invariably finds themselves in at any given moment, often alternating between them over the course of a life. As the book says, “Aspiration leads to success (and adversity). Success creates its own adversity (and, hopefully, new ambitions). And adversity leads to aspiration and more success. It’s an endless loop.”

Aspire, Success, Failure

In addition to these three phases, there are a few major themes running through each part of the book, as well as how people can successfully conquer their ego in each phase.

Three Key Themes From Ego Is The Enemy

Having purpose will help you accomplish life changing work. Holiday says the first thing you need to do is ask yourself, “why do I do what I do?” If you don’t have an answer to this question, you should take some time to figure it out.On the other hand, many harmonious and effective people have found that answering the following questions helped them live with purpose: Why do I do what I do? Who am I? What purpose am I serving?

1. Live with Purpose Not Passion

The Greeks used the word Euthymia for this which is a sense of our own path and how we can stay on it without getting distracted. Prioritize your goals with clarity and then follow through. True confidence comes from putting in the time; it comes from discipline and mastery. One important point to note is that critical work is not helped by passion. It requires deliberation, not blind emotion, otherwise it is subject to the delusions of ego.

People who are passionate will tell you all the things they are going to do, but they can never show you any progress, because there usually isn’t any. They talk a lot, but get little done. People who are driven by purpose don’t need to talk about their work because you will see the results.It’s okay to be passionate, but be passionate with discipline. Execute with excellence. Remain humble; know that you always have more to learn:

“The critical work that you want to do will require your deliberation and consideration. Leave passion for the amateurs. Make it about what you feel you must do and say, not what you care about and wish to be.”

Get to know your ego, but once you make the choice to manage your ego and pursue your purpose, be prepared for when people try to sabotage you.Our adversities likely pale but the only thing we can be sure of when we are embarking on an endeavor is that there will be adversity and we will very likely be treated poorly. In these situations, there are two things to remember: 1) It degrades others, not you, when they treat you poorly and unfairly2) Choose alive time over dead time.

When They Treat You Poorly 

Alive time is time when you are actively using your time usefully and improving; dead time is time you spend passive. We may not always be able to choose our circumstances, but we can always choose whether we want to make our time alive time or dead timeThe question the book leaves hanging:“…this moment is not your life. But it is a moment in your life. How will you use it?”

Choose alive time over dead time.

The greatest leaders and wisest thinkers have all been students of life. They possessed a unique curiosity about life and had the discipline to constantly be learning. Many people get overly confident in one area and forget that they know so little about everything else. The ego tries to build an identification with success, withholding you from learning moreThe book explains that when you are just starting out you need to remember: You aren’t as good as you think you are, you probably need your attitude readjusted, and the things you learned in books or school are out of date or wrong.

2. Always Be a Student

Many factors will determine the success you will reach as you’re starting out, one of them being your willingness to listen to feedback, especially critical feedback. The book discusses an amateur as being defensive to critical feedback, but a professional as delighted in being challenged to learn more.To become the best you can be, and to maintain that greatness you need to have a student mindset. You need to always be learning.

Everything in life has something to teach you, but ego gets in the way of opportunities you have had or will have. The ego tells you that you shouldn’t do an internship because you are overqualified for it. The ego doesn’t want to do the grunt work because it thinks it’s too good for that. People living with purpose look past this, and they focus on what is important, believing in what they need to do. Appreciate the opportunity. Take the internship. Put in the time and effort, and learn.

“Humility is what keeps us there, concerned we don’t know enough and that we must continue to study. Ego rushes to the end, rationalizes that patience is for losers (wrongly seeing it as a weakness), and assumes we’re good enough to give our talents a go in the world.”

The stoics used the word sympatheia for this state of mind, which means “a connectedness with the cosmos.” This connection makes you ask yourself: Who am I? What am I doing and why? The book elaborates on how material success can take you away from this perspective. Don’t let your ego convince you the world revolves around you. Intentionally seek out the cosmos and your purpose will be revealed to you over time, which is also a part of the stoic view: “Purpose deemphasizes the I. Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself.”

Find and follow your purpose, and then do the work. The book explains that you should make it so you don’t have to fake it: “Can you imagine a doctor trying to get by with anything less? Or a quarterback? So why would you try otherwise?” Be a lifelong student even after—especially after, your major accomplishments. Eliminate what isn’t necessary. Stay open-minded. Set goals and live on purpose.

When you begin to live with purpose instead of passion your ego will begin to lessen, and you will gain the quiet confidence the philosopher Seneca referred to as Euthymia: having a sense of your own path and not getting distracted by externals.

3. Talk & think less; do more

Talking is easy, everyone does it, but silence is rare in today’s world. Your ego tells you that you need recognition from others, but real confidence doesn’t need to talk, it produces work. Talking destroys action. Sit quietly and work. Let go of the distractions of social media and of the news, and focus on your work.

“So what is scarce and rare? Silence. The ability to deliberately keep yourself out of the conversation and subsist without its validation. Silence is the respite of the confident and the strong.”

Thinking too much can also lead you into living with a psychological term marked as “imaginary audience,” which is explained in the book. Many adolescents go through this and many adults hold on to it. It’s the idea that people are watching and thinking about you when they are not. It’s the teenager who misses a week of class because they are so embarrassed of spilling juice on their pants and think that everyone in the school is talking about it. They are not. This is the imaginary audience. People don’t think about you as much as you think they do, which is a relief.

Imaginary Audience

The ego loves the imaginary audience and thrives on it, so remember the bigger picture, let go of your wandering thoughts and bring yourself into the present moment:“Living clearly and present takes courage. Don’t live in the haze of the abstract, live with the tangible and real, even if—especially if—it’s uncomfortable. Be part of what’s going on around you. Feast on it, adjust for it.”

In short, the book says we must manage our ego or see it get the best of us.Be an eternal student, absorbing everything around you like a sponge, knowing that there is always more to learn. As well as living with purpose and remaining a student, focus on doing the work instead of seeking recognition, letting your confidence show with results.

💡 Ego is an unhealthy belief in our own importance.
💡 Ego is there undermining us on the very journey we’ve put everything into pursuing.
💡 Ego can be managed and directed.

The Book in Three Sentences

The instant Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and international bestseller “While the history books are filled with tales of obsessive visionary geniuses who remade the world in their image with sheer, almost irrational force, I’ve found that history is also made by individuals who fought their egos at every turn, who eschewed the spotlight, and who put their higher goals above their desire for recognition.” —from the prologue   Many of us insist the main impediment to a full, successful life is the outside world. In fact, the most common enemy lies within: our ego. Early in our careers, it impedes learning and the cultivation of talent. With success, it can blind us to our faults and sow future problems. In failure, it magnifies each blow and makes recovery more difficult. At every stage, ego holds us back.   Ego Is the Enemy draws on a vast array of stories and examples, from literature to philosophy to his­tory. We meet fascinating figures such as George Marshall, Jackie Robinson, Katharine Graham, Bill Belichick, and Eleanor Roosevelt, who all reached the highest levels of power and success by con­quering their own egos. Their strategies and tactics can be ours as well.   In an era that glorifies social media, reality TV, and other forms of shameless self-promotion, the battle against ego must be fought on many fronts. Armed with the lessons in this book, as Holiday writes, “you will be less invested in the story you tell about your own specialness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you’ve set out to achieve.”

Ego Is the Enemy

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