I have a theory.I believe Winning is a choice.It’s not just luck.It’s not just talent.It’s a choice.Now, before you roll your eyes and say, “But I am trying my best,”Okay, but let me ask you this:Have you truly decided to win?Because most people don’t realize they’re unconsciously choosing not to.Let me show you how you’re doing it — without even realizing it.

Winning is a choice. But maybe you don’t realize you’re the one making that choice.

I want you to imagine yourself winning everything you ever desired.That job you’ve dreamed of — the one that makes you feel alive, fulfilled, and respected.That partner you’ve always longed for — someone who truly sees you, supports you, and loves you unconditionally.The financial freedom that lets you say yes to your dreams and no to fear.The confidence to walk into any room and own it.The version of yourself that wakes up with purpose, power, and peace. Do you feel any doubt?That doubt isn’t just hesitation — it’s self-sabotage disguised as logic.

Let’s play a little game

You’re using your imagination in a counterproductive way.You’re not just thinking negatively — you’re manifesting failure.Persistent negative thoughts don’t just stain your spirit — they shape your behavior. They lead you to unconsciously act in ways that sabotage your progress again and again, creating a self-fulfilling cycle of failure.Before you know it, you’re trapped in a loop of mediocrity.

You convince yourself that winners have something extraordinary that you don’t.You believe you need to be perfect before you even try.You assume winners succeed first, then believe in themselves — when in reality, belief comes first.You think winners are just privileged people with unfair advantages.You focus on what winners have that you don’t, instead of using what you do have.And worst of all? You let fearful visions dictate your reality.

That doubt is rooted in beliefs you’ve chosen to adopt:

They’re the mental movies where everything goes wrong before you even begin:You often find yourself saying “I don’t know if I’m ready…”You picture yourself stumbling over words in your speech.You imagine blanking out in your exam.You see yourself failing — before you even start.These aren’t just harmless doubts.They’re mental rehearsals for failure — disguised as realism. Especially when you’re about to do something important: a job interview, a big exam, a presentation, or a speech in front of thousands.

What Are Fearful Visions?

The mind doesn’t just observe — it creates.And when you keep replaying failure, you don’t just think negatively.You become the failure you feared.Once you believe in failure, you start acting in ways that make it inevitable.Suddenly, you’re stuck — not because you’re incapable, but because you’re choosing comfort over success.Why?Because winning comes with pressure.Here’s the real reason most people stay stuck:Winning isn’t just exciting — it’s intimidating.

Expectations. People start watching you. Rooting for you. Holding you to a higher standard.Responsibility. Once you win, you can’t hide behind “one day” anymore. Now, you have to show up — again and again.Pressure. The more you win, the more you have to lose.And that terrifies people.So instead, they sabotage their own success.They play it safe.They let doubt creep in.They unconsciously choose not to win.

Winning comes with:

What if pressure was a privilege, not a punishment?What if expectations meant people believed in you?What if fear wasn’t a stop sign — but a green light that you’re on the edge of something big?Because winners aren’t fearless.They just choose to move forward anyway.They choose to win — even when it’s uncomfortable.And that’s the difference.It’s not talent. It’s not luck. It’s choice.Over and over again.So how do you make that choice — staring today?

But What If You Flipped the Script?

Imagine yourself winning.At first, it might feel ridiculous.Your mind will resist it, clinging to its comfort zone of doubt.It will whisper,“What good will this do?”That’s your logical mind talking.That’s the voice of fear pretending to be wisdom.But do it anyway.Close your eyes. Visualize success. Write it down. Speak it into existence.Say it out loud:“I WILL succeed.”Now take it even further.Imagine it so vividly that you can see every tiny detail — the way it feels, the way it looks, the way success tastes in your mouth.

How to Start Choosing to Win Today

What is the deeper feeling I’m chasing?Is it financial independence?Is it self-sufficiency?Is it self-confidence?Now, sit with that feeling.Let it consume you.Then ask yourself:How do I make this real?What can I do today — and every day — to turn th vision into reality?If you want a little help anchoring this process, here’s something that’s helped me massively: A short, powerful <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ENDYXqYxSI">guided manifestation meditation</a> that reprogrammed my subconscious beliefs and helped me start my winning streak. (Take it seriously. It’s short — but powerful.)

And then ask yourself:

Because thoughts shape actions.When you start reinforcing positive visualization, you naturally begin making choices that align with success — effortlessly, instinctively.And suddenly, what once seemed impossible starts to feel inevitable.If you can’t even see yourself winning in your own imagination,how can you ever expect to win in real life?Winning is a choice.So is staying stuck.Today, you decide which one you’ll commit to.

Why This Works

This is the hypothesis that’s brought me countless wins—and continues to do so.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

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Career

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Personal Development

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Mindfulness

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Motivation & Inspiration

Winning is a Choice

Insight: Business strategy is about creating and maintaining barriers to entry, not just outperforming rivals.Reflection:• Do I have a unique and sustainable market position?• What prevents others from entering my market?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Focus on defensible advantages over pure competition.✘ Don’t assume competition alone defines success.Advanced Tip: Map out all possible threats to your market position and proactively block them.

The Core of Competitive Strategy

Insight: The best way to maintain dominance is by making entry too costly for competitors.Reflection:• What are the biggest obstacles stopping competitors from entering my market?• Can I increase these barriers through partnerships, pricing, or control over distribution?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Build high switching costs (e.g., exclusive contracts, locked-in customer relationships).✘ Don’t ignore low-cost entrants—they can erode your margins over time.Advanced Tip: Create artificial barriers such as patents, regulatory advantages, or brand dominance.

Market Entry & Barriers to Entry

Insight: Winning small is better than losing big—own a niche before expanding.Reflection:• Is my business trying to expand before securing a stronghold?• Where can I create monopoly-like control over a market segment?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Focus on one niche before expanding.✘ Don’t spread resources thin across too many markets too soon.Advanced Tip: Master local or industry-specific markets first, then scale horizontally.

Niche Domination vs. Broad Expansion

Insight: Companies with market power (distribution control, scale, or network effects) outlast innovators.Reflection:• Do I have pricing power over competitors?• What makes my position hard to replicate?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Control distribution points to maintain influence.✘ Don’t assume a better product automatically wins.Advanced Tip: If you can’t build an outright monopoly, aim for a quasi-monopoly through branding or contracts.

Competitive Positioning & Market Power

Insight: Companies that control logistics, production, or distribution can operate at lower costs than competitors.Reflection:• Is my cost structure giving me an advantage or just keeping me afloat?• Can I negotiate better deals with suppliers or distributors?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Build cost advantages through economies of scale.✘ Don’t assume being small and lean is always better—big companies dominate for a reason.Advanced Tip: Look at Walmart: its supply chain efficiency is its real competitive advantage.

Scale, Supply Chains & Efficiency

Insight: First-mover advantage is overrated; long-term control over key assets matters more.Reflection:• Is my competitive edge based on early entry or long-term sustainability?• What prevents others from doing what I’m doing?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Focus on staying ahead, not just being first.✘ Don’t expect pioneering alone to guarantee success.Advanced Tip: Watch how Microsoft, not Apple, dominated the PC market—control matters more than innovation.

First-Mover vs. Lasting Advantage

Insight: Dominant firms use pricing strategies to keep competitors out.Reflection:• Am I using pricing signals to ward off competitors?• How much margin do I need to sacrifice to maintain dominance?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Use aggressive pricing to discourage new entrants.✘ Don’t underprice yourself into unsustainable losses.Advanced Tip: Price in a way that makes market entry look unattractive to competitors.

Strategic Pricing & Competition Deterrence

Insight: Businesses thrive when their product becomes more valuable as more people use it (e.g., social networks, payment systems).Reflection:• Is my business model designed to get stronger over time?• How can I make it hard for customers to leave?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Build ecosystem dependencies (e.g., Apple, Google).✘ Don’t let competitors leverage your platform against you.Advanced Tip: Control access points—if others depend on your system, you control the industry.

Network Effects & Ecosystem Control

Insight: Competing head-on is expensive—instead, change the game to something only you can win.Reflection:• Can I sidestep competition rather than face it directly?• What can I offer that my competitors can’t replicate?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Redefine the rules in your favor.✘ Don’t get caught in price wars unless you have a clear advantage.Advanced Tip: Find an uncontested market space and own it (Blue Ocean Strategy).

Business Warfare: Avoiding Direct Confrontation

Insight: Expanding too fast makes you vulnerable; defending your position is as important as growth.Reflection:• Is my business expanding at the right pace?• Am I focusing on defending my strongest position before growing?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Prioritize fortifying what you already have.✘ Don’t overextend into unprofitable areas just to grow.Advanced Tip: Amazon started with books, then strategically expanded only after logistics dominance.

Strategic Expansion & Defense

Insight: Perception shapes market behavior—your company’s image can be a deterrent or an invitation.Reflection:• Does my brand signal strength or vulnerability to competitors?• Am I making my company seem too formidable to challenge?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Shape your public perception carefully.✘ Don’t reveal all your weaknesses.Advanced Tip: Sometimes, it’s smarter to stay under the radar until dominance is secured.

Psychological Warfare & Perception Management

Insight: A great strategy isn’t just about short-term wins; it’s about creating a long-lasting advantage.Reflection:• What am I doing today that will still work in 10 years?• Can my business survive market changes, technology shifts, and new competitors?Dos & Don’ts:✔ Focus on long-term resilience over short-term tactics.✘ Don’t ignore emerging threats just because today’s position is strong.Advanced Tip: Study companies that dominate for decades (e.g., Disney, Berkshire Hathaway) and learn how they adapt without losing their core advantage.

Long-Term Sustainability & Legacy

Bruce Greenwald, one of the nation's leading business professors, presents a new and simplified approach to strategy that cuts through much of the fog that has surrounded the subject. Based on his hugely popular course at Columbia Business School, Greenwald and his coauthor, Judd Kahn, offer an easy-to-follow method for understanding the competitive structure of your industry and developing an appropriate strategy for your specific position. Over the last two decades, the conventional approach to strategy has become frustratingly complex. It's easy to get lost in a sophisticated model of your competitors, suppliers, buyers, substitutes, and other players, while losing sight of the big question: Are there barriers to entry that allow you to do things that other firms cannot?

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Strategy

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Books

Bruce C. Greenwald

Judd Kahn

Competition Demystified

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Can be told in less than 60 seconds.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Making conversations better with friends and family (or boss).</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The goal is to make every second count.</li></ul>

How to tell a Great Stories

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Will the answer keep people engaged until the end?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Ask a shocking question to grab the audience's attention.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Examples:</li></ul><ol><li class="ql-align-justify">How much ice cream can you get for a dollar?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">What is the cheapest thing in an airport?</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Is it faster to go inside or use the drive-through?</li></ol>

Start With a Question

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Build up to the answers to your questions.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make the audience feel a constant progression.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Provide updates on progress.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">For example:</li></ul><ol><li class="ql-align-justify">In the video, the speaker was showing how she added ingredients to her burger while cooking in the car.</li></ol>

Take Your Audience on a Journey

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">It Makes the Audience Invested in the Outcome.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Can be Done by Introducing an Opposing Character or an Obstacle.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example:</li></ul><ol><li class="ql-align-justify">The Speaker's Mother Questioning the Actions of the Protagonist.</li></ol>

Adding Conflict to the Story is Crucial

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Build up to the initial question's answer</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make the audience uncertain of the question's outcome</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example:</li></ul><ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Audience wondering if a burger will be cooked faster than a drive-through</li></ol>

Build Up to a Satisfying Ending

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Answers should be provided quickly and concisely.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make it engaging by using music, dialogue, and unexpected twists.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Example:</li></ul><ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Speaker reveals that a burger was cooked faster and better than a drive-through.</li></ol>

Ending

For social media creator and viral video hitmaker @JennyHoyos, the key to telling a great story is to keep it brief. She breaks down her framework for telling stories in 60 seconds or less that can gain millions of views online — or simply elevate your everyday conversations. (Created in collaboration with @ignite; recorded at TEDNext 2024 on October 22, 2024)

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https://youtu.be/ZmNpeXTj2c4

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#TED #TEDTalks #storytelling

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The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

The Secret to Telling a Great Story — in Less Than 60 Seconds | Jenny Hoyos | TED

Without commitment you will never start, but, more importantly, without consistency you will never finish.

“Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship. So keep moving, keep growing, keep learning.”

Best Motivational Speech 2016 - Tony Robbins - MOTIVATIONAL VIDEO

EPIC Motivational Speech by Denzel Washington - Claim Your Dream!!

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Entrepreneurship

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Human Resources

Amazing Motivational Speech by Denzel Washington - Claim Your Dream 2017 | Motivational video 2017

Denzel Washington: Commitment & Consistency 

I like to think that ANGER is one of the most powerful and important emotions. While I spent years trying to repress it because I thought it only hurts people around me, in the end it taught me one of the most important lessons.
If ANGER would be a person and had a voice it would tell us that a boundary needs to be set or an existing one is being violated. And when we don’t acknowledge it, in most cases it intensifies. And when it’s combined with fear becomes anxiety. At least for me it did.
Scroll down to see how to release it.

Teacher #1 ANGER

While FEAR is considered one of the major obstacles in achieving our big goals, it is also an emotion that keeps us aware. If FEAR was a person, it would tell us that something important needs to be known before it becomes a danger for us. Fear is like a wake up call to reality. Deny it, and it might become true if it’s not listened to.

Teacher #2 FEAR

The energy of loss - SADNESS - is usually what keeps us loyal to people and things we don’t want to lose. But if SADNESS would be a person, it would teach us that we need to let go, and say goodbye to old ideas, people or projects that no longer serve their purpose. Once it was meaningful, but now is going away and we need to move on with something NEW.

Teacher #3 SADNESS

Finally some positive emotions. For a long time I believed that only negative emotions help us learn and develop ourselves. But I was wrong. If there is something that JOY taught me recently is that something needs to be appreciated and celebrated. Not only negative emotions need to be expressed, but also the positive ones. So don’t ignore this one. A good celebration boosts our motivation. Somehow many leaders are so focused on results that they forget to just pause and celebrate the wins. Both small and big.

Teacher #4 JOY

I bet you didn’t expect this one. I also didn’t. And just to be clear, I’m not talking about physical attraction in the work place.In a recent chapter of a book I read that sexual feelings are the energy of creativity and creation. Felt usually in the pelvic area of our body, if this emotion were a person it would tell us that something new needs to be birthed or created. It would tell us that something inside us, that we desire so much, needs to be expressed. Like being pregnant with ideas and innovation.

Teacher #5 SEXUAL FEELING

We can ignore or accept these 5 emotions as teachers in our life. But if you are a new leader and you choose to listen to these 5 teachers and what you can learn from them, here is how:<ol><li>LOCATE THE EMOTION IN YOUR BODY. What is the body part that feels that emotion more intense? </li><li>NAME THE EMOTION. If you were to introduce the emotion to someone, how would you call it? </li><li>GIVE IT A SOUND. If this emotion would have a voice, how would it sound?</li><li>RELEASE IT. By accepting that it exists and is present in your body, you will start feeling at ease. The same way we want to be seen, so does every emotion. </li></ol>

GROWTH vs LIMITING MINDSET

Manage your emotions before managing people and you’ll be a great leader.

Leading positions can be overwhelming. I see people thrive and people who struggle with complex emotions in their first role as a leader. Here are 5 teachers every new leader can benefit from:

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Teamwork

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Leadership & Management

5 important teachers for every NEW leader

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The most successful modernization proposals balance innovation with practical implementation realities.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Show you've evaluated alternatives and selected an approach that delivers business value</li></ul>

Technical brilliance alone won't win boardroom approval

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Remain factual while emphasizing risks to drive action</li><li class="ql-align-justify">People rarely act on potential innovations until they become urgent problems.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Focus on threats to competitive positioning or bottom-line impacts</li></ul>

Create urgency with your problem statement

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Limit your modernization proposal to under 6 pages</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Decision-makers are drowning in information</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Make their choice easy with a compelling, focused case</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Respect their limited time with clear, concise content</li></ul>

Keep your proposal concise and focused

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Instead of reporting "high database query times"</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Explain how this means "customer checkout times have increased by 30%, potentially costing us $10,000 in lost sales per day"</li></ul>

When quantifying problems, translate technical difficulties into business impacts

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">When business leaders see direct value for their teams</li><li class="ql-align-justify">They'll fight for your proposal in ways technical stakeholders rarely can</li></ul>

Your strongest modernization advocates almost always come from the business side, not IT

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Executives focus on competitive positioning</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Operations leaders on efficiency metrics</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Security teams prioritize compliance obligations</li></ul>

Different stakeholders connect with different aspects of the problem

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Secure early supporters by rebuilding your proposal with key stakeholder input</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Create the buy-in needed to move forward</li></ul>

The more innovative your solution, the more champions you'll need

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Balance optimism with realism</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Credibility comes from providing conservative estimates you're confident of exceeding</li></ul>

Effective ROI calculations transform your modernization proposal from a technical request into a compelling business investment

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Best case, Expected case, Worst case</li><li class="ql-align-justify">This approach shows thorough analysis and builds trust with financial decision-makers</li></ul>

Present multiple ROI scenarios to demonstrate confidence in positive returns

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Terms like "API latency" or "asynchronous processing" might be everyday language for you</li><li class="ql-align-justify">But sounds like a foreign language to executives</li></ul>

Avoid technical jargon that business stakeholders won't understand

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Even technically sound solutions can fail due to poor user adoption</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Stakeholder resistance can derail projects if people's aspects are neglected</li></ul>

Never overlook organizational change management requirements in your proposal

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The CFO scans for financial returns</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The COO wants operational improvements</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The CEO might focus on strategic positioning or competitive advantage</li></ul>

Tailor benefit messages to different stakeholder perspectives

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">This pragmatic approach often accelerates approval</li><li class="ql-align-justify">It reduces perceived risk</li></ul>

When developing solution architecture, deliberately scale back initial approaches to focus on critical systems first

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Teams facing workflow disruptions</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Staff requiring significant retraining</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Addressing concerns proactively prevents being blind sided during approval</li></ul>

Identify potential resistance from groups that may perceive disadvantages from proposed changes

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">This positions your initiative as an investment rather than an expense</li><li class="ql-align-justify">It aligns with the organization's future direction</li></ul>

Connect short-term improvements to long-term strategic objectives in your proposal

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your document should serve as a starting point for productive conversations</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Not an inflexible blueprint</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Willingness to incorporate feedback determines success</li></ul>

Remember that proposal development is ultimately collaborative

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Subjects like: Change management, Training, Temporary productivity dips</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Realistic cost modeling builds credibility and prevents painful budget conversations later</li></ul>

Don't underestimate implementation costs by omitting

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">This approach reduces perceived risk</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Creates natural checkpoints to demonstrate value before proceeding</li></ul>

For complex modernization initiatives, break down the solution into logical, manageable phases

For more inspiration, visit my blog at Caterpillar Garden | SubstackThis post in free version can be found here: https://blog.caterpillar.garden/p/rbm-r-how-to-prepare-the-right-modernizationPaid extended version also available here: https://blog.caterpillar.garden/p/rbme-r-how-to-prepare-the-right-modernization

Caterpillar Garden

My new blog post from RAPID-based Modernization series is about how to write a proper proposal document to make sure it sells our idea: https://blog.caterpillar.garden/p/rbm-r-how-to-prepare-the-right-modernization

How to stay MVP and cover all the requirements

Discover the world of business and economics.

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Economics

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Technology & The Future

[RBM] "R"​ - How to prepare the right modernization proposal?

Something about our 30s and 40s feels like standing at a professional crossroads. We’ve gained experience, maybe moved up a level or two, and the pressure to “figure it out” once and for all is real. But behind the LinkedIn milestones and polished bios, many professionals in this phase quietly navigate career pivots, burnout and a desire for meaning, not just momentum.

Crossroads And Momentum

For many, this stage brings an uncomfortable realization: the ladder we’ve been climbing might be leaning against the wrong wall. What once motivated us—titles, promotions, packed calendars—might no longer feel satisfying. We start questioning what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. And while the outside world may see a seasoned professional, inside, we might be reevaluating everything from our definition of success to our sense of purpose.

Is The Ladder Leaning On The Right Wall?

Titles are rented, not owned. Your job title can open doors, but it doesn’t define you. Roles change, companies restructure and industries shift. Build an identity that isn’t dependent on your business card.

Lesson #1

Working harder doesn’t guarantee you’ll be noticed. Effort matters, but visibility matters more. Too often, we assume that good work speaks for itself. But in most organizations, people are too busy to notice what they’re not explicitly shown. That’s why strategic self-advocacy is critical. This doesn’t mean turning every update into a highlight reel; it means communicating your impact in ways that connect to broader goals.

Lesson #2

Loyalty has an expiration date. Loyalty to a company is admirable until it costs you your growth. If your organization isn’t investing in you, it’s okay to outgrow them. Staying too long for comfort can quietly stall your career. Recognizing when it’s time to move on is professional self-respect.

Lesson #3

Soft skills become your power tools. Technical skills get you in the door in your 20s. By your 30s and 40s, emotional intelligence, communication, adaptability and self-awareness keep you in the room and move you into better ones.

Lesson #4

Your network is your net worth. The people who help you make big career moves down the road, like making an introduction or offering you an opportunity, often aren’t the ones you work with closely every day.Instead, they might be people you met at a conference, former colleagues, mentors or professional contacts you’ve stayed loosely connected with. While your daily coworkers may see your hard work, they’re often not in a position to elevate your career outside your current role or organization.

Lesson #5

Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. If your health, family or peace of mind is constantly sacrificed in the name of success, that’s not ambition. It’s avoidance. Sustainable success includes rest, boundaries and saying no when it counts.

Lesson #6

You don’t need to have it all figured out.Many professionals reinvent themselves multiple times. Your dream job at 25 may not align with your values at 35. Give yourself permission to evolve.

Lesson #7

Promotions don’t always mean progress. More responsibility and a new title might feel like a success, but ask yourself: “Does it align with what I want for my life?” Sometimes, lateral moves or strategic pauses are more valuable than constant upward motion.

Lesson #8

Feedback is a gift, but not all of it is for you. Some criticism reflects your growth areas, and some reflect someone else’s insecurity. The trick is learning which is which. Filter wisely, and don’t let unqualified opinions steer your path.

Lesson #9

It’s easy to chase prestige, money or approval. But real career fulfillment comes from purpose and doing work that energizes you. It doesn’t happen by accident; it happens by design. It requires the courage to prioritize meaning over momentum.

Lesson #10

Our career in our 30s and 40s isn’t about “arriving” but adjusting. Being honest with ourselves about what we want, what we’ve outgrown and what matters now is the first step to building a career that feels just as good on the inside as it looks on paper.We don’t need a five-year plan. We need clarity, courage and the belief that it’s okay to rewrite the script, especially when it no longer fits who we are becoming.

If I (Don’t) Fits, I (Don’t) Sits

If we (are lucky to) grow, then we will (be lucky to) outgrow.

10 Pieces Of Honest Career Advice No One Tells Us In Our 30s and 40s

Nobody owes anybody anything. If it was passion for our job, love, or better welfare that led us to move in a new country, shouldn’t we embrace its culture too? Not many people that I’ve met in my journey fully embraced the culture of the new country they were moving in. And a noticeable effect were always the sour complaints against people, food, lifestyle or other things that were typical for that country. While it’s so hard to change our habits because they are so well tattooed and are a result of our background, is it really impossible to open up to other habits too?

What Does It Take To Embrace A New Culture?

“This is who I am and I’m not going to change that.” - I hear that more often from people lately and as an empathic person my first response is always: “And you don’t have to!” My favourite saying in Dutch is “Niets moet, alles mag” which translates to “nothing is a must, everything is possible”. Truth is I categorise these people as inflexible at first, and then I feel how a change in perception about a new culture can feel like an attack on their person. So what do we feel we give up when we are faced with these changes? And do we really have to give up to make room for new cultural habits?

What Do We Give Up On, When We Adapt To New Cultures?

It’s clear that we move to a new country for benefits that we don’t have in our own, but when the focus is solely on those benefits, it feels like robbers in a bank. “We are here for a short while, if everyone is willing to cooperate, no one will be hurt.” But the truth is that everyone feels uncomfortable. Of course it would be nice to live in a place with good food and weather such as Italy, while having the salaries of Luxembourg, the landscapes of Norway and the medical system of Switzerland. But how can we feel we belong in a place without adapting to the rest of the country’s culture?

What Makes Us Feel Like Intruders And How Can We Belong?

Adapting to a new culture can feel like giving up on who we are. But who we are, is usually shaped by our experiences. So we might as well embrace the cultural habits of the country we’re living in, instead of feeling like an outsider.

After 10 years living and working abroad I couldn’t help but wonder:

habits

Habits

Working and living abroad 

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